This Low-Budget Animated Movie Ruined My Life

the sketch at 15:50 only has audio on the left side so if you're listening with headphones it might sound weird!! sorry i messed up the audio!

hey kurtis, i'm from czech republic and i've actually seen the movie when i was a kid... Our teacher showed it to us at school actually. We all hated it and i think most of czech people doesn't think of it too much either. But the thing with the eyes and big clock is based on a famous legend and everyone here knows the story, so we were mostly put off by the crazy ass animation and nail boobs, not the story line. Great video btw i promise we're not all fishy fishy stinky here in czechia.

As a woman, I can confirm that we keep a whole tool box full of nails in our boobs.

if I was Katy I’d be a bit insulted if a goat put on a dress and absolutely no one questioned that it wasn’t me

i tried watching the movie while extremely high off a fuckin edible and it was the scariest thing i have ever experienced and was as close as i could come to being tormented by literal demons.

He missed the part, where Katy sneaks into cemetery to take the nails from coffins. Yes it really is in this movie.

In the czech dub, the goat also sometimes changes her pronouns randomly, breaking the barrier of gender, very pragueressive

This movie should be rated “N” for “Nobody”

For anyone curious, I just skimmed through the actual movie and there is literally a scene where Goat's at the bar and she's getting hit on by some random lady. Just in case anyone's curious

missed joke: “when i open your blouse, i should be able to build a house”

M'kay but if "Goat" is just named Goat, does that not imply that Jemmy intends to at some point kill Goat for meat, and he has avoided naming Goat so as to not be as emotionally attached and heartbroken upon killing Goat?

Every single character looks like Dobby. Every. Single. One.

This movie is iconic. "Would you like another nail?" "making it stinky", "fish in the mouth", and that skeleton playing the organ... This movie is incredible, I'm so glad it exists.

This entire movie is “the scene when your parents walk in” 💀💀

This animation style looks like what throwing up after eating something expired feels like

“Can I watch a movie about those two guards having a secret gay relationship? That sounds a lot more interesting than whatever the f*ck I’ve been watching.” - words of wisdom

This is what I imagine Dr. Doofenshmirtz's childhood be like

"Most sucessful Czech animated movie? " I'm literally laughing my ass off! When the trailers came out it was instantly visible how Bad (capital letter deserving) that movie was going to be. Seriously? We're embarrased this is something that was made in a nation known for the making of legendary fairy tales, be it classicaly animated, stop-motion, marionettes or the newly minted "live action". For Czech people fairy tales are a cultural tradition. And yes, there were also the occasional bad ones made, but I can't think of a single one as terrible as the Goat Story. It is an attemt to get onto the computer animation bandwagon of Hollywood and as you can see, it crashed, burned and should also be salted to never rise again in this ghoulish form (and as you have found out, unfortunatelly, it DID rise again).

To those nerdy enough to care: The hamster wheel is actually common on large medieval cranes (Treadwheel Cranes). It’s how they raised and lowered the crane.

"I grew up on a farm. I have seen animals having sex in every position imaginable. Goat on chicken. Chicken on goat. Couple of chickens doing a goat. Couple of pigs watching. Whoever drew this got it exactly right." Dwight Schrute

Ah yes every good children’s movie ends with the two main characters sitting and watching the sunset while a dead goat in a dress hangs from the neck behind them ❤️

i actually think the “that is the house of dr. faust” line is really cool and clever !! if you don’t understand it, it’s a reference to christopher marlowe’s play dr. faustus about a man who makes a deal with the devil for knowledge and power

That “plot hole” joke was really funny. That was greatly appreciated

i saw this movie in Czech when i was like 12.... and i sure found the graphics terrifying, but i never actually questioned anything that happened there. 1) shit like this happened in any other chech children movie 2)it was actually full of slavic folklore, co it made sense in the cultural contex. But i love to see your reaction to this, being outside of europe, it made me realize how fucking weird our culture is and that it may say a lot about czech society.

The human sized hamster wheel was actually a crane that was used throughout all of medieval Europe for construction, they are kind of cool to learn about.

I can confirm, as a Czech person, that this is a very realistic portrayal of our culture

22:30 But in all fairness, an old man dying after having his eyes brutally taken out in medieval times without any anesthetic or anything is probably the most reasonable thing in this movie

I don’t know what’s the most unsettling: what happens in this movie or the fact that kurtis doesn’t know who Faust is.

me and my friend have watched this video so many times - we “make things stinky” all the time.
example: i walked across a black platform that had just been swept, and my shoes left prints. my best friend then proceeded to yell, “theo! u made it stinky!!”

When kurtis reads through the weird-ass synopsis and then just goes “tale as old as time” I ALWAYS snort laugh at that part.

As a Czech guy, i just wanted to explain the reason behind eggs being on the build site of Charles bridge. There's a Czech legend saying that the builders used eggs while building the bridge to make it more firm and strong.

I'm so proud of my country for making this cinematic master piece

Coming from someone who's very picky about animation and avoids cartoons who even remotely look unpleasant, I watched this video only because of you, Kurtis. I traumatized myself. You know you're a true citizen of Kurtis Town when you watch the worst animated movie to ever exist because Kurtis made a video about it...
On another note, the bearded skeleton playing the organ was pretty cool, I'll give them that.

While my fellow citizens may deny this, the movie is unfortunately a big part of our culture. I think most children saw it when they were little, hell ive seen it in the cinema when it came out. To defend it, its usage of old legends is nice, especially since most children here know them. The stuff with alcohol and violence is… strange but the czech nature is just, you know… different. It was the first 3d czech movie so of course its bad, we dont really do 3d animation (i should know, i work in the industry of children entertainment) but most of our children stuff is bad. We make excellent crime shows and we like to make movies about love and romance (that suck most of the time) and the past.
I guess what i am trying to say is, that without the cultural context this movie is insane and horryfing and i guess thats alright, we cant expect everyone to know the culture of 10 milion people in central europe that speak a language that noone else speaks, that think they are the masters of everything and are very hard to inconvinience.

"It's because I'm a goat, isn't it?"
_"Well, maybe a little bit"_

as a Czech person i am embarrassed even a year after. i am very sorry for this. please accept my apology. also yes goats in our country usually fall in love with people, thank you very much.

the rewatchability of kurtis' goat story videos is unparalleled

I am very late but... I love how you called this the cheap animated video... This is a Czech classic we watched in movie theaters and we worship the movie so hard. Like every kid my age knows this. This is my childhood and it's fantasticn
Edit: just rewatched. How tf did they let us see this.

11:58 is honestly one of the funniest things I’ve ever seen and I think about it all the time. I don’t know what it is but it makes me cry laughing every time

I genuinely think this movie isnt even appropriate for adults

This movie always brings me back to my own cultural cringe towards Czech republic... Please stop reminding me we went to watch this in 5th grade.

Kurtis: Hey, imagine seeing that ending as a kid, that's traumatazing!
Me: Hey that's not true, I'm czech, I watched it when it came out and I'm completely fi-
Yeah okay, you have a point

This "kids movie" IS LITTERELY AGE RESTRICTED!!!!!!

I screamed “WHAT” at the ending a tad bit too loud, I scared my brothers 🧍‍♂️

“This man is eating an entire Turkey”
Ignores the man eating a live pig.

The moment he said "this is our introduction to the city of Prague" I got an ad with a balloon cow pooping balloons and it took me a second to realize that wasn't part of the movie

Then ending caught me so off guard I was actually laughing while also sobbing. The mixture of emotions was too much

I like how that poor student surved literally no purpose whatsoever. Just a punching bag that runs off after the devil goes after him.

"Fishy, fishy, fish, makin' it stinky" is now part of my vocabulary forever and I blame this video

Honestly this looks SO gross and scary that even Kurtis joking can’t save me from feeling super weird

Also fun (not fun) fact everybody!
They named the goat 'Goat' because 'Koza' (goat in czech) is slang for boobs.
Also the thing with poking out Master Heinish's (dunno how to spell that sorry) eyes is actual history, yep, they jabbed out his eyes because only czechs can have big clock

One thing in the movie’s defence: it probably did expect you to know who Faust was, considering the “deal with the devil” plot.

It would have been 10 times better without the reveal that Goat survived.

"Oh, fish in the mouth" will never not be THE funniest thing so casually said I've ever heard

this movie just FEELS illegal - like every scene is a crime against humanity itself

The part where the guard had his butt out and Kurtis looked at the camera and made his eyes big was so hilarious and cute at the same time

I love how this movie was called "Goat Story", but only like 10% of the movie even involved the character "goat"

Thanks Kurtis for the best video to fall asleep to while sad. It's a great combination of humour and absurdity - just enough to distract from the thoughts but not too much to distract from sleep. I've used this video a few times and it does not disappoint.

As a animator this movie is very unnerving and just... It hurts to see

Kurtis, I’m writing this comment In a hazy state of need and fear. I’m begging you, watch Love on a Leash. Please. Even if it’s not for a video, you need to experience this movie. I’ve watched it 11 times and every time I see something that changes the movie all over again. To describe this movie as bad is not only a disservice but also a grave understatement. Please, for the love of everything that is holy, watch this movie. You will absolutely regret it.

Fun fact: To my knowledge this is the second time Kurtis talks about boob nails, the first one being in the Billionaire pretending to be an employee

As an czech animator myself, we dont claim this movie :D dont worry everybody HATED it here when It came out back in the day

now when i rewatch this video i’ve found that i’ve come to associate the bearded skeleton willfully playing the organ with VRG more than the movie itself

my dad is from the czech republic and this really is a legend that people tell, he told it to me, czech's also have some other weird legends and stories, the main one i can remember is about a teenage(?) boy who takes buns made with his mother's milk if you know what i mean and gives them to other ppl he meets on his travels for strengh or something

The day kurtis didn’t give us an extra greeting was a fishy, fishy, stinky day

i’m honestly shocked no one has mentioned how the main character looks like a horrible 2005, 3D rendition of shane dawson😭

Dude I can't stop watching this episode. I LOVE the 'makin it stinky' part. When you're being loud and shaking your head. SO effing funny!!! When I'm at work and things don't go right, I secretly say it's gettin stinky..

a czech person here! I was absolutely dying of laughter during this video and also when I was a kid a thought the goat was a male because she had a male voice so I thought the goat was gay

this feels like a nightmare i would wake up from in a cold sweat

i don’t want to say that this movie is accurate, but it was a pretty popular tradition back in the days to poke an architects eyes out so he wouldn’t build the same masterpiece again.

I like how Kurt's keeps apologising for taking us through the movie like he made it and is embarrassed now

well with the tube in throat thing it *might* work since it keeps the trachea open, but the rope would cut off circulation to the brain, as well as the drop having the potential to break the neck (in fact, the goal was for the neck to break, resulting in a relatively quick and painless death, although that was more for the crowd watching, as it's distressing to watch someone struggle and gag while being hung)

Im Czech and i honestly liked this movie when i was little... i saw it again a few years ago and realized how bad it was.

5:11 the "big human size hamster wheel" is actually a treadwheel crane if i'm correct, and it was used a lot during the middle ages

this movie feels like an embodiment of evil. it’s not even funny anymore it’s just viscerally terrifying

Okay, as an English teacher who also minored in German, hearing Faust mentioned completely fucking threw me lol. He's a mythical figure from Early Modern Europe that supposedly sold his soul to the devil, which is... weird material for a children's movie

As a czech i can confirm my childhood has been ruined by this movie and ive been traumatized

as a czech teen, i watched this when i was a kid and loved it. btw the faust house is haunted house in prague that actually exists. and 2nd btw all czech animated movies are weird asf. "fimfárum" (another czech animated movie) actually scared the living sht out of me when i was a kid.

Okay so I’m Czech…. I remember watching this with my PARENTS when I was like 8!! I hated it …But honestly I don’t know anyone in here who actually supports the movie. It’s really bad one….

Petition for Kurtis to start using the skeleton playing the organ clip for every videos sponsor transition

Footnote - The "Hamster Wheel" at 5:10 is actually a genuine part of Medieval construction equipment - it's called a Treadwheel crane and was widespread across Europe from Ancient Rome to even the 18th Century.

Kurtis lip syncing the "would you like another nail," line is obscenely adorable.

god i don't remember it being this bad.
sincerely, a czech guy.

This movie was absolutely off the rails, but if I'd watched it as a kid, I'd always remember it as a classic and masterpiece, up there with Chicken Little and A Monster in Paris

I can like, SMELL these characters, and it's bad.

I firmly believe that Kurtis actually messed saying “home run” … and it’s beautiful

This movie ruined my life, if you’re reading this and haven’t watched the movie, there’s still hope for you…

That ending WAS actually INSANE

His videos make me feel like he's talking directly to me

Katy’s a worldly girl because her breasts are worlds of their own. An ecosystem on each one.

its almost 2022 and i still watch this at least like once every 5 months.

As a person from Czech Republic, i feel so embarrassed rn 💀

I grew up with this movie and I love to see someone from outside ripping it apart. Yeah. It is really weird and I never realized it. It's not like super popular movie. But there's much more similar stuff. Its basically a genre of kids movies

I just want to thank whoever told Kurt to watch this movie. You're my hero whoever you are.

I present to you: the characters of Goat Story
👩🏼 👷🏻‍♂️ 🧑🏻 👴🏻 🧒🏻 👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨
🔴🔴 🐏 📜 ⏰ 🍆 🤺

Faust(us) is a figure most well know for his portrayals in Marlowe's and Goethe's plays. His claim to fame is knowing literally everything a man can know and then growing so bored that he sells his soul to the devil. It was foreshadowing Matthew.

Can’t fathom how this movie made it through production without anyone being like “hey…wtf are we doin”?

The live action renditions of the story he does are great, and that they tie in is epic. I got a good chuckle out of them.

ive watched this video 500 times and i never once noticed the bit of the opening where jemmy and goat actually pass matthew by. also can we talk about how the ending would have actually seemed really sad if it weren’t about hanging a goat? im always taken with katys expressions, when she was taken by the mob and when she was sad when coming back to jemmy after goat was hanged

"Would you like another nail?" is the female version of "are you lost, baby girl?"