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The New Pinocchio Movie is a Nightmare

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  • Opublikowany 14 kwi 2022
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Komentarze • 13 253

  • Kurtis Conner
    Kurtis Conner  28 dni temu +5985

    btw the diss track is on Spotify now 😏
    ps about the physics thing I was talking about how they’re travelling IN A CIRCLE and that’s why I was bringing it up!! I’m not stupid trust me!!

    • ResidentStump
      ResidentStump 3 dni temu

      Im pretty mad that shit goes so hard lol

    • jjrs
      jjrs 4 dni temu

      I need the iTunes release

    • Ozoroth
      Ozoroth 4 dni temu +1

      If I don't see Pinocchio smoking then it ain't the "True story" at all

    • Jonathan G.
      Jonathan G. 8 dni temu

      @BELIEVE in JESUS Pretty sure Kurtis said that first

  • stink
    stink Miesiąc temu +21398

    the whole point of creating pinnochio was so that old man didnt have to be lonely anymore and the first thing pinnochio does is immediately try to leave him 💀💀

    • SanKyuu
      SanKyuu 7 dni temu +1

      @Your_Local_Gay_Arsonist skidoo skidoo skidoo

    • Melonie Ndebele
      Melonie Ndebele 11 dni temu

      Good point

    • Marcus Ortiz
      Marcus Ortiz 20 dni temu

      We live in a society

    • Nadine Abid
      Nadine Abid 26 dni temu

      THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I'VE BEEN SAYING 😭😭😭

  • Scuttlebutt101
    Scuttlebutt101 23 dni temu +2336

    If you're confused about cops randomly going door to door looking for "suspicious" people, remember that this movie was made in Russia.

    • Dryer
      Dryer 2 dni temu +2

      @Joe Mama they have come for your uncool niece

    • UserName0043
      UserName0043 3 dni temu +2

      @firstname lastname they don’t

    • polishpotato
      polishpotato 6 dni temu

      @Christina Izmaylova sure kgb shill

    • firstname lastname
      firstname lastname 7 dni temu +10

      You say that like cops in America don't do similar shit

  • BulldOwOzer
    BulldOwOzer 22 dni temu +1575

    "I'm say obviously, because Bella is the only girl in this movie"
    Y'know, I have a hard time believing that this Pinoccio would actually be interested in girls

    • Toby. Org
      Toby. Org 10 godzin temu

      @Kaitlin Parker you are aware those is not the only gay stereotypes correct

    • Kaitlin Parker
      Kaitlin Parker 13 godzin temu

      @Toby. Org gay men being viewed as feminine and lesbians being viewed as masculine just isn't the same thing as the black community being viewed as criminals

    • issa !
      issa ! 3 dni temu

      @Toby. Org the op didn't say the lines were the reason for the comment... you don't even know what the op meant you're just putting assumptions out there.

    • Toby. Org
      Toby. Org 3 dni temu

      @issa ! Also i.. once again never said that. 😔 Love how you're putting words in my mouth.
      Gay representation is great.
      But thats not the reason this person said he doesn't think Pinocchio belongs with a guy.
      It's because of the gay stereotype that men have more 'flamboyant voices' because of like, two fucking voice lines. If the op would comment and say that the voice lines WEREN'T the reason they said he potentially was homosexual them cool, I'm all for it. But.. they haven't.

  • graytlo
    graytlo 20 dni temu +480

    I’m so glad he addressed “skadee skadee skadee” lol nobody else has on PLclip and it KILLS ME

    • Grey K
      Grey K 13 dni temu +6

      Most "normal" thing in this movie

  • clownpaladin xoxo
    clownpaladin xoxo 21 dzień temu +868

    russian here. i got slightly suspicious when i saw the design of the new "pinocchio", and further in they got confirmed. this is *not* pinocchio, and i have no idea why they called it that!
    theres a russian fairytale called buratino, which is basically a slavic version of pinocchio with a slightly different story and characters, and this new pinocchio and the other characters look highly like an old ussr cartoon of buratino!
    the main character looks like buratino, with his pointy hat and golden locks. Bella is literally just Malvina, a blue haired girl that ran away from a circus/puppet show thing. the circus owner himself looks like a copy of Karabas Barabas, the owner of the puppet show in og story. and the fox and the cat.... well, they didnt really change, except maybe fir the fact in the cartoon i think the fox was a woman
    there are characters missing (such as my favourite character- the sad clown Pierro who was in love with Malvina and was writing her sadass poetry lol), and overall the story feels butchered both if you look at it as pinocchio remake and as a buratino remake. buratino never joined the circus! or had a horse! or was so yassified, after all in og buratino was, again, a whole ass capricious stupid wooden toddler
    at first i thought they named it pinocchio only for the foreign audiences to get attention, but turns out in russian its called the same, which is.. a mystery to me, honestly. would've it been called buratino it'd honestly be a bit better, rus audience would know it better and foreigners wouldn't have had such confusion, and got to see some russian culture lol
    the film still sucks. maybe im just biased because they removed my favourite character. no pierro, -5/10, would not recommend. better off watching the og buratino movie even tho iirc its only in russian
    (if anyone's interested, its called The Golden Key. also thats the name of the book the story originated from)

    • mrcydonia
      mrcydonia 5 godzin temu

      Buratino is an unauthorized ripoff of Pinocchio.

    • Grail Montgomery
      Grail Montgomery Dzień temu

      Super interesting comment! Thanks for your perspective!

    • Jocelyne cupcake
      Jocelyne cupcake Dzień temu +1

      Oh cool!

    • Le Fandom Trash
      Le Fandom Trash 6 dni temu +6

      Thank you for the review and recommendation! I never heard of Buratino before reading this comment.

    • Yanneliz
      Yanneliz 10 dni temu +13

      Glad I’m not the only one that thought Bella was just Malvina

  • Jonah Who
    Jonah Who 28 dni temu +10729

    it’s weird that they completely removed the nose thing, which is literally the thing pinnochio is most known for.

    • Mia E
      Mia E 5 godzin temu

      that’s what he’s NOSE FOR

    • charcs_7
      charcs_7 8 dni temu

      That’s what I was thinking about the entire time…and the horse talkin about this is the original story😭

    • Dunkel Esclave
      Dunkel Esclave 16 dni temu

      Damn I thought he was most known for being a wooden puppet brought to life

    • Twilart
      Twilart 19 dni temu

      @Holly Golightly Make sure Pauly Shore plays Prince Florian.

    • Beelzebub
      Beelzebub 19 dni temu

      @sugarculted well damn. I think I gotta read this Russian version.

  • 𝚂 𝚊 𝚕 𝚎 𝚖   ☹︎

    I had the weirdest dream last night where Kurtis published a video called: “How to tell our hands we’re gay.” And the thumbnail was three pictures of him with his hands cupped over his mouth and a stock photo of two hands in the air, watermarks and all. I didn’t watch it in the dream, I scrolled past it on my recommended. I DID watch a video about something to do with Danny Gonzalez and Gordon Ramsey though.

  • Emile Van Rayner
    Emile Van Rayner 19 dni temu +417

    What's with all the non-human characters freaking out about a wooden boy? Imagine Dracula laughing at you because you believe in werewolves.

  • Kevin West
    Kevin West 24 dni temu +578

    Your physics are correct Kurtis. The key thing is the circle. It’s no different than being on a roundabout at a park and letting go. You go flying in a straight line away from the circle. Basic astrophysics :)

    • SecondtoInfinity
      SecondtoInfinity 8 godzin temu

      @The cool general grievous Yep.

    • aiai oioi
      aiai oioi 14 godzin temu

      @The cool general grievous that's exactly why it wouldn't work like that (only if he jumped so high that the horse would get in the same spot by the time he lands)
      the force creates acceleration and systems with acceleration are not inertial so we can't just throw something upwards and expect it to land back in our hands
      think of it as a person running in a train, if it moves at a constant speed (or stays in place) then it is an inertial system, but if it accelerates, everything that's not a part of the train tries to stay in place
      that's why you feel squished into your seat when the train accelerates/turns, and that's why stuff falls off the shelves

    • The cool general grievous
      The cool general grievous Dzień temu

      Isn’t that centrifugal force

    • Nathan Smith
      Nathan Smith 2 dni temu

      @Ana Pau You can jump at an angle to make a beeline for where the horse is going to be after it takes a turn, and may be able to twist a bit to sell it, but you always have to clip the curve somehow. You can't trace out a midair path that curves sideways that tightly without wings because there's no centripetal force acting on you anymore

    • SecondtoInfinity
      SecondtoInfinity 17 dni temu +4

      @Ana Pau I'm not finding any substantial, long-lasting jumps except for the ones where the riders dismount. Could you please link a video with a corresponding timestamp?

  • SpellboundWolf
    SpellboundWolf 22 dni temu +508

    Pauly Shore's voice is the most annoying sound in the world to me. Even more than the sounds of obnoxious children & babies, but they are REAL close. How could he be funny & great in A Goofy Movie, but fail at everything else?! I can't force myself to feel bad for him because obnoxious sounds trigger the shit out of me.
    Wait a minute. Cat is a stolen Talking Tom design!

    • SpellboundWolf
      SpellboundWolf 17 dni temu +4

      @AG Bobby is the one of the best parts of A Goofy Movie! XD He's so funny, even in the sequel with the college setting.

    • AG
      AG 17 dni temu +8

      I caaaan kinda relate I mainly because I liked the character he played from A Goofy Movie. XD

    • TwilightRaven
      TwilightRaven 20 dni temu +7

      @Cheerleader of Doom it's cool. I fall head over heels for the PLclipr Chills voice.

    • sunflowerdogs
      sunflowerdogs 20 dni temu +28

      @Cheerleader of Doom that's like the most wholesome fetish ever

  • Mass Dysfunkton
    Mass Dysfunkton Miesiąc temu +15397

    I like how the clip of kurtis saying “what do i nose” got progressively shorter and shorter each additional time it was used till it was barely anything more than the twinkle sound effect

    • Lonkus Bonkus
      Lonkus Bonkus 10 dni temu

      @BELIEVE in JESUS also dude go back to church and stop giving bible references where it's completely irrelevant

    • Lonkus Bonkus
      Lonkus Bonkus 10 dni temu

      @BELIEVE in JESUS completely irrelevant and nobody cares

    • Green Justin
      Green Justin 15 dni temu

      @Eddybeans Gaming but what do i nos

    • PuniPuni
      PuniPuni 19 dni temu

      Lmao funny af

    • San mei
      San mei 21 dzień temu +1

      I'd love to be Memex.MONSTER youngboy is my idol. Hes the person I aspire to be, hes my light of day.

  • neuroatypical kirby
    neuroatypical kirby 24 dni temu +161

    i can't get over the line delivery of "it's just mE" at 15:31 i piss myself every time

    • zenox
      zenox 3 dni temu

      its just me 🙄💅✨

    • Christiane Britt
      Christiane Britt 7 dni temu

      Omg that almost killed me

    • charcs_7
      charcs_7 8 dni temu

      I didn’t even realize BHAHAHAJAJA

    • fork
      fork 9 dni temu +5

      HE SOUNDS SO CONSTIPATED ANDJOSJFJAKIFNF

    • Ps1 Hagrid
      Ps1 Hagrid 21 dzień temu +17

      Pls why does he sound sarcastic?! 💀💀💀💀💀💀

  • Renata Bonney
    Renata Bonney 23 dni temu +119

    As someone who is almost done with a degree in animation, I can find so many issues in this film it's INSANE

    • Juicy
      Juicy 12 dni temu +1

      @aiai oioi at first I thought this had to be an old movie that’s how bad it looks lol

    • aiai oioi
      aiai oioi 14 dni temu +9

      @Sleepy Ciderr character designs and animations specifically
      this movie looks worse than shrek and shrek was made 20 years ago
      and idk what happened to the physics engine but their hair and clothes look too weird for a movie that was made so recently

    • nacisse
      nacisse 17 dni temu +7

      i watched the movie with my friend and aside from bellas horrific hair physics bothering me personally, my friend noticed that during the scene where tybalt is telling pinocchio what to say to bella, she spins at some point and one of her fingers clips through the curtain. so damn funny

    • BORNANA
      BORNANA 18 dni temu +10

      @Sleepy Ciderr the entire damn movie lmao

    • Sleepy Ciderr
      Sleepy Ciderr 21 dzień temu +5

      Any that stand out in particular?

  • Joanna Devis
    Joanna Devis 22 dni temu +172

    This movie is so wierd... First of all, as a Russian, I've never heard a thing about it, but I can see that this story isn't even an adaptation of Pinocchio, it's an adaptation of a story by a Russian author called "Buratino", and the only thing in common between two stories is that the main character is a doll. So they took a bunch of characters and changed their names and added a fairy and a wish to become a real boy and really wierd scenes... At first I thought that they did it only for English speaking audience, but the original is the same, and it's really absurd thing to do...

    • Joanna Devis
      Joanna Devis 19 dni temu +3

      @Артемий Андриевский yeah, it seams you are right, my bad. But the movie is weird nonetheless

    • Артемий Андриевский
      Артемий Андриевский 19 dni temu +10

      Common between stories include not only main character, there are Fox and Cat in both stories, bearded circus leader, mentor cricket etc. Basically Buratino is Pinocchio fanfiction, but with all donkey/giant fish/blue fairy arcs completely thrown away and replaced

  • whatever dani does
    whatever dani does 12 dni temu +93

    You kept saying "original Pinocchio" in reference to the Disney one but like, the actual original Pinocchio is nothing like this, or the Disney one. To start, the wood that made Pinocchio in the original 1883 book was *already alive* and screaming when a woodmaker was trying to carve it, so in fear he gave it to Geppetto. Pinocchio was already just straight up bad even before he was finished being built, like as soon as he got legs, he kicks Geppetto for no reason. Once he's made into a wooden boy, he immediately runs away and the police arrest Geppetto for "mistreating his child" and then Pinocchio goes off back to his house without a care. Then a talking cricket, the talking cricket we all know and love as Jiminy, yeah Pinocchio straight up throws a hammer at him and accidentally kills him.
    He does a bunch of other bad shit until Geppetto gets released from prison and he goes home to Pinocchio who is like "hey I burned my feet, can you make me some shoes" and Gepetto makes him some shoes, and because of that and only because of that, Pinocchio out of gratitude agrees to go to school and give acting like a decent citizen for the first time in his life.
    Pinocchio goes to a puppet master show and *the puppets* recognize Pinocchio and are like "hey bro" which angers the puppet master, who then decides he's going to burn them alive. Because somehow, these puppets are also alive. He also wants to burn Pinocchio at first but then he's like "no please I don't want to die" and then he's like "ok I'll kill my own puppets instead" and Pinocchio begs for them to be spared which somehow works and the puppet master is like "wow your dad is dirt poor, here's some money".
    Then there's some stuff with like, the fox and the cat trying to scam Pinocchio on his way home, them eating at a place called "Red Lobster Inn", I wonder if that's where Red Lobster got their name from, and a bunch of other stuff happens but more importantly *the ghost* of the talking cricket appears and begins acting as Pinocchio's guide of morals. The ghost of the cricket he killed.
    Ghost cricket tells Pinocchio to get his ass home instead of meeting with the fox and the cat, but he doesn't listen and he gets robbed by the cat and the fox but like, Pinocchio *bites off the cat's paw* and then runs into a fairy who's like "I'm dead and waiting for a hearse". The cat and the fox find him again though and try hanging him, but since he's made out of wood, he doesn't die and so they just leave him strung up in the tree. Basically the fairy and some other anthromorphic animals save him and ghost cricket is like "he's been disobedient to his father and has hurt him". Pinocchio lies, his nose grows, fairy is like "your lying is doing this" and then calls some birds to *chisel his nose down*.
    Pinocchio gets tricked by the cat and fox again, he goes to the police being like "help, they stole my money" and their only response is to laugh at him in trial, and have him arrested and sent to prison for months for "the crime of foolishness" for being dumb enough to fall for their tricks. But like, he gets released from prison due to shenanigans basically, and he then goes on to commit more shenanigans and like, actual crimes again like stealing and other various chaos.
    The fairy shows up again later, now older and being like "guess what I'm gonna be your mom now, and as your new mom, I'm telling you to go to school and if you act like a good kid, I'll turn you into a real boy" and Pinocchio's like "ok". He does well, then bad, then well, then bad, rinse repeat, he keeps having the good schoolboy relapses into bad schoolboy moments, then the whole storyline from the Disney movie plays out where he meets Candlewicke and goes to the island where kids can do whatever they want and turn into donkeys, etc. Only in the original, Pinocchio was there for five months, turning into donkeys during the fifth month. Eventually the circus dude wants to sell donkey Pinocchio to somebody who's going to skin him for making a drum, but the dude threw him in the sea to drown him instead of like, killing him in any other way, and then when he went to get donkey Pinocchio, somehow the fish ate all his donkey skin and he was a puppet again. Idk man.
    Pinocchio and Geppetto get swallowed whole by a dogfish and they're living in the dogfish for a while, but they escape. They see the cat and fox again who are now broke af, the cat's blind and the fox's physically ill and they're on the streets begging for money and Pinocchio's like "lol serves you right for scamming so many people". Ghost cricket somehow has a house now, he invites Gepetto and Pinocchio to live there, Pinocchio gets a job working for the farmer and he recognizes one of the farmer's donkeys as Candlewick who, guess what, never gets turned back into a boy. I don't even think he gets turned back into a boy in the Disney version.
    Months go by of Pinocchio hard at work supporting his father and he saved up a bunch of money to buy himself a suit, but he finds out the fairy is dying and to help her, he instead uses that money to help the fairy and in exchange, she makes him a real boy, gives him some clothes, gives him some gold, and also makes Geppetto healthy. The end.
    So yeah, that's the original Pinocchio lol.

    • Not A God
      Not A God 2 godzin temu

      what the fuck

    • Jocelyne cupcake
      Jocelyne cupcake Dzień temu

      The Disney version is creepy a f and shouldn't exist... 0_0 Seriously, pure nightmare fuel. This movie is funny

    • whatever dani does
      whatever dani does 2 dni temu +1

      @God me when I'm interested in something: this long ass essay
      me when I'm required to write an essay for school:

    • God
      God 2 dni temu +3

      bro sent an English essay

    • Lps Questie
      Lps Questie 5 dni temu +11

      I believe the reason it got so batshit crazy was because the author of Pinocchio didn't want to continue the book but children loved it and I think the book's publisher wanted it to continue. The author of Pinocchio hated children and he didn't like the book anymore so he just made it wild.

  • Milla Meiman
    Milla Meiman 29 dni temu +9145

    pinocchio coming to life and immediately screaming "ALIIIIIIIIVE" in the voice of a middle aged man like he's doctor fucking frankenstein absolutely sent me

    • Luthien Tinuviel
      Luthien Tinuviel 16 dni temu

      I legit laughed until I cried, it was so funny

    • bunnybi
      bunnybi 21 dzień temu +1

      For a split second I thought it was an edit. Then realizing it was the authentic performance, I passed the fuck away 🤣

    • cotton Willow
      cotton Willow 21 dzień temu +4

      IM A BOY AND IM ALIVEEEEE

    • Apl Man
      Apl Man 25 dni temu

      It reminded me of Richthofen from zombies

    • dylan jam
      dylan jam 25 dni temu

      @Fevre_Dream demoman gaming

  • Juliet ???
    Juliet ??? 19 dni temu +102

    you forgot my favorite part, where after Pinocchio leaves the fairy she says something along the lines of "if he really wants to be human, all he has to do is be human"

  • Joanna
    Joanna 19 dni temu +47

    I still snicker ever time Kurt uses the echoey “balls” from that Barbie movie

  • Audie
    Audie 23 dni temu +49

    With the whole “the mountain pass by evil spirits!” part, I literally just thought it was a mountain next to like the evil spirits’ normal hang out spot

  • Tabitha Anne
    Tabitha Anne 25 dni temu +94

    As a horse rider and fan of horse acrobatics, it is possible to jump like that on a horses back but A: not that slowly and B: usually the horse would be standing. Most tricks would be like doing a handstand on the horse’s back but doing a flip like that could actually be very bad for the horse and cause back trauma. So don’t… do that I guess.

    • Ana Pau
      Ana Pau 19 dni temu +5

      Actually you can flip off horses like that! Watch horse vaulting, its an Olympic sport and shows some similar moves : )

    • Grey K
      Grey K 21 dzień temu +4

      He also made of wood so i guess the horse is fine

  • steph ritz
    steph ritz Miesiąc temu +2908

    “let me ask you equestrian” absolutely and violently murdered me i lost it i just lost it

    • kyndal waterman
      kyndal waterman 23 dni temu

      I LITERALLY READ THIS COMMENT RIGHT AS HE SAID THAT

    • ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ
      ʕ·ᴥ·ʔ 27 dni temu +9

      Put Bella on my face, imma start fibbin'

    • Nugcon
      Nugcon Miesiąc temu +10

      lyrical mastermind

    • VampireJelly
      VampireJelly Miesiąc temu +1

      right lmao

    • Eileen Dover
      Eileen Dover Miesiąc temu +2

      So fricken good hahahah

  • Cupriferous Catalyst
    Cupriferous Catalyst 20 dni temu +47

    I guess cops just going around looking for suspicious people wouldn't seem like a plot hole to Russian audiences...

  • Tarek Youngápelian
    Tarek Youngápelian 12 dni temu +32

    The cringe I felt when the Pinocchio diss track started was unbelievable, but it was soon replaced by tears of laughter. The second time I listened, I realized how good it actually was. I’m simultaneously scared & impressed.

  • Hello Leo
    Hello Leo 17 dni temu +34

    I just wanted to thank Kurtis for this bomb ass masterpiece of a song I was running and I was about to give up but I just kept on going replaying this bop on a loop. Just literal absolute BARS.

  • ElderberryVA
    ElderberryVA 25 dni temu +45

    As much as we make fun of him Pauly Shore is quite literally the only reason anyone is watching this movie so. In the long run it was actually amazing casting

  • Rhenn Rainbow Reviews
    Rhenn Rainbow Reviews Miesiąc temu +5546

    I am 100% convinced Pauly showed up drunk and cold read the entire script with no re-takes.

    • Frick Frack
      Frick Frack 23 dni temu

      @Sammyyam WAIT. HOLY SHIT?? Now whenever he speaks in this I'm just going to picture Bobby spraying cheese whiz in his mouth and sayin things 💀

    • M A.
      M A. 27 dni temu +3

      Considering how he questioned why they wanted him in the role, him showing up drunk wouldn’t be surprising

    • Carter Stoinis
      Carter Stoinis 29 dni temu +7

      plot twist:he's always drunk

    • Sarla Glorya
      Sarla Glorya 29 dni temu +1

      Eres un ídolo PUTSEX.Uno siempre en mi corazón
      mañas no se la.❤ Son unos de los mejores conciertos..

    • Rhenn Rainbow Reviews
      Rhenn Rainbow Reviews Miesiąc temu +12

      @Sammyyam Goofy Movie was fun. But Encino Man, Bio Dome, and Son In Law are where it's at. :)

  • Shattered Mind
    Shattered Mind 25 dni temu +72

    Pinocchio getting shot and ragdolling absolutely sent me.

  • purple hoodie
    purple hoodie 25 dni temu +64

    To be fair, the Fairy did say that it's gonna make for an "extremely interesting" story.
    She didn't exactly call it a "good" story 🤣
    So I mean, it did turn out to be extremely interesting lmao

  • Jonas Cox
    Jonas Cox 24 dni temu +51

    Maybe it's called a true story as reference to Pinocchio's association to honesty and dishonesty. The fact that a Pinocchio movie claims to be a true story but is obviously lying is a nice bit of irony. A bigger piece of irony is that they completely omit that part of Pinocchio's whole character in this movie so the universe actually is meaningless and god really is dead.

  • Thelocalpot8to
    Thelocalpot8to 25 dni temu +55

    Hey Kurtis you’re probably not gonna see this but there was this weird Australian show I used to watch called round the twist and when I looked it up I saw that barely anybody had reviewed it so thought I’d make a suggestion

  • rainy
    rainy Miesiąc temu +5228

    That cat is unhinged and I love him. He immediately shot Pinocchio which makes him my favourite character

    • charcs_7
      charcs_7 8 dni temu

      That part KILLED ME

    • Garamond
      Garamond 8 dni temu

      @Meredith Wheat I believe you! I love wacky folktale stuff. every culture has its own things

    • Meredith Wheat
      Meredith Wheat 9 dni temu +1

      @Garamond it is though that’s just a thing that shows up in more Russian tales than you think

    • Kel
      Kel 24 dni temu

      @Sneaky Snek as he should

  • Idle Account
    Idle Account 25 dni temu +62

    This movie basically stole the plot of Madagascar 3. You know, the one where they also save a failing circus and magically fall in love with the gymnast.

  • Alex McElroy
    Alex McElroy 22 dni temu +17

    Kurtis' videos honestly help me calm down from my panic attacks.

  • Sophia Schnur
    Sophia Schnur 25 dni temu +41

    i think the casting of pauly shore was absolutly perfect becuase honestly would anyone be watching or talking about this movie if pauly wasn’t voice acting pinocchio

  • Therese Ivy
    Therese Ivy 25 dni temu +55

    you can tell the “skadee skadee skadee” line was added last minute cus pinnochio’s lips during that scene doesnt even open lmao.

  • Seashine Sarah
    Seashine Sarah Miesiąc temu +5499

    honestly, and i'm not being sarcastic here. Those lyrics SLAPPED. Like actually, you killedddd it with the rhyming schemes and incorporation of puns and it just WORKED SO WELL. Fantastic job, I would loveee to see you write more music, non-parody style even.

    • doodles1331
      doodles1331 27 dni temu +2

      @Hecking Bamboozled oooh I stand corrected, thanks!

    • Hecking Bamboozled
      Hecking Bamboozled 27 dni temu +6

      @doodles1331 "Produced By" is very different from "written by". It probably refers to the person who helped set up the recording studio and helped with the production of the music video

    • doodles1331
      doodles1331 27 dni temu

      Pretty sure Kurtis didn't write this since he put down the writer of the song at the start of the diss track in the corner...?

    • XxGamingFirexX
      XxGamingFirexX 29 dni temu +10

      I think the ska-dee ska-dee ska-deez nuts was my favourite. I laughed so hard

    • noblesgirlcuttlefish
      noblesgirlcuttlefish 29 dni temu +2

      I agree. Kurtis is good at anything he puts his mind to.

  • Shatter Glass
    Shatter Glass 25 dni temu +20

    Despite having never seen the actual film, I think it's safe to say that the movie's a train wreck, for better and for worse.
    But, hey. What do I nose?

  • myalt account
    myalt account 24 dni temu +25

    Pinnochio in this movie sounds like he's perpetually on ALL the drugs, like from the moment he comes to life.

  • ashley duckworth
    ashley duckworth 19 dni temu +13

    The way Pauly shore says “it’s just me” walking into the carriage made me choke on my cereal. Holy shit this was *BAD* casting hahahha

  • Pole Tooke
    Pole Tooke 21 dzień temu +19

    "Mama Mia, a wooden boy! *shoots*"
    Welcome to Murcia, Pinocchio. Shouldn't've traveled and seen the world. Lol

  • fishy fish
    fishy fish Miesiąc temu +5090

    Judge: "Why did you murder this child's parents"
    Accused: "I thought it would make for an extremely interesting story"

  • Mack Wallace
    Mack Wallace 24 dni temu +19

    I don’t know if my sense of humor is just worse but every time he says “what do i nose?” it gets funnier

  • Petra Ace
    Petra Ace 23 dni temu +14

    during the final scene in this movie i broke out in tears because i could not handle the single stream of dialogue that wrapped up every plot point

  • Dragon_Cheez
    Dragon_Cheez 11 dni temu +4

    Maybe “by” means like adjacent and so the evil spirits are ADJACENT to her house.

  • DerkDurski
    DerkDurski Dzień temu +2

    Big fan of how the first time Pinocchio and the cat meet, it is established that he cannot be harmed by the cat's gun.
    And then later the cat tries to rob Pinocchio with the same gun.

  • Nina Airheart
    Nina Airheart Miesiąc temu +9363

    I didn't know "Kurtis Connor dressed like Pinocchio spitting fire" was gonna be something I experienced today, but holy shit am I glad.

    • Sova Mau
      Sova Mau 28 dni temu +1

      sameee it was awesomeee

    • Airotiv
      Airotiv 29 dni temu

      Right?! 💜

    • Rayce Archer
      Rayce Archer 29 dni temu +1

      Didn't know what to expect. Was not that.

    • Teaaa P
      Teaaa P 29 dni temu +5

      You mean, you didn't nose-

    • Zen dya 💋
      Zen dya 💋 29 dni temu +1

      Eres un ídolo Memex.MONSTER siempre en mi corazón, hermosa, amor, elecciones, culturales.❤
      Son unos de los mejores conciertos

  • Just A Tomato
    Just A Tomato 22 dni temu +3

    hey kurt, i just wanted to thank you for always making the perfect videos to play in minimized screen mode while i play some relaxing game next to them, i dont know what i would do without you :)

  • Rose The Moon Dragon
    Rose The Moon Dragon 25 dni temu +16

    i completely somehow forgot about the whole nose things??? how was this movie crazy enough that it made me forget Pinnochio's whole gimic

  • viiont eooiy
    viiont eooiy 13 dni temu +2

    That cat is unhinged and I love him. He immediately shot Pinocchio which makes him my favourite character

  • bodoti qwiu
    bodoti qwiu 17 dni temu +2

    That cat is unhinged and I love him. He immediately shot Pinocchio which makes him my favourite character

  • Ciara Park
    Ciara Park Miesiąc temu +3144

    Kurtis dropping an absolute BANGER at the end of the video as if he didn’t just change the game completely for music

    • bruh man
      bruh man Miesiąc temu +59

      i should have realized that kurtis was a master at his craft when he dropped blood related

  • Indi
    Indi 24 dni temu +4

    Kurtis inserting the sound bite of barbie saying "balls" into videos is so fkn funny every single time

  • Ace
    Ace 13 dni temu +1

    "I want all the drama, just call me a thespian." Made me smile so hard 😁💀

    • kolim jone
      kolim jone 13 dni temu

      Did they actually forget to animate the cat's gun in the apple shooting scene ?

  • bigpo2
    bigpo2 12 dni temu +3

    26:54 "im a trojan horse, and youre just driftwood"
    Dude went from Pinocchio to a bonfire

  • Eva
    Eva 4 dni temu +2

    ohh I think I get it now... yes, yes. the circus is supposed to represent this movie, and the people in charge of it, who are allegedly doing "shady" stuff, represent those who worked on this film ☝️😌 gotcha: this movie is the "shady" thing they kept mentioning

  • Joe Ker
    Joe Ker Miesiąc temu +3966

    The repeating joke getting cut of a little more every time is so funny

    • nisya uh
      nisya uh Miesiąc temu +1

      Du bist mein Idol HOTSTEAN.Cam
      immer in meinem herzen, schön, liebe, wahlen, kulturell ❤
      Sie sind eines der besten Konzerte....😍😘x

    • ecksdee
      ecksdee Miesiąc temu +32

      i agree, his comedic timing is impeccable

  • Gareth Thorn
    Gareth Thorn 7 dni temu

    After watching this I hadn't realised I haven't laughed hard in a long time. Thank you.

  • Linda Garcia Vargas
    Linda Garcia Vargas 25 dni temu +7

    Everything about the video perfectly hits the spot: makeup, content, jokes, SPONSOR. I love you, Mayor Kurtis, thank you for the amazing content!

  • worm
    worm 22 dni temu +5

    kurtis is always showing off that he knows how to do the jerk. and i love it

  • TheCrystalFlame_
    TheCrystalFlame_ 3 dni temu +2

    When you're a Greg living in KurtisTown (like me) you become a certified Chad

  • AntonLuvs
    AntonLuvs Miesiąc temu +4611

    I don’t care what anyone says, cutting off “what do I nose?” is the funniest fucking thing. Also, can’t wait to see you on tour!

    • Untitled CGY
      Untitled CGY 28 dni temu +6

      Yeah, him putting a midroll after the cutoff really was genius

    • Parastoo Memariyan
      Parastoo Memariyan 28 dni temu +1

      exactly :)))))))))

    • Jude Tedder
      Jude Tedder 28 dni temu +5

      I clicked the link and I won one billion dollar! Yay!

    • Zen dya 💋
      Zen dya 💋 29 dni temu +1

      Eres un ídolo Memex.MONSTER siempre en mi corazón, hermosa, amor, elecciones, culturales.❤
      Son unos de los mejores conciertos.

  • ADVI
    ADVI 14 dni temu +1

    Kurtis puts so much effort into these videos man, full respect (and that song's a BOP)

  • JoeBob12394
    JoeBob12394 5 dni temu +1

    6:32 It actually possible to land back at the same spot after jumping from a moving object. It really depend on drag, inertia, speed and a couple of other factor. It not impossible, seen some of my dumb friends do it all the time with their bike or motorcycle. A horse can adjust it speed if it train to make up for any lost distance during the jump.

  • Felicia Strandgaard
    Felicia Strandgaard 26 dni temu +8

    This movie really reminds me of the greatest showman in some ways. It’s a circus, they swing with ropes and do acrobatic stuff and then the building sets on fire. Mr.wooden boy saves the girl he loves and sacrifices himself and then she cries on him.
    I’m I the only one who sees the similarity😂😂

  • Amity oh Cramity
    Amity oh Cramity 5 dni temu +2

    Best foreshadowing ever. The guy at the first circuit performance really *did* want his money back!

  • Strixia
    Strixia Miesiąc temu +16256

    I still snicker ever time Kurt uses the echoey “balls” from that Barbie movie

    • Bambiii Boo
      Bambiii Boo 24 dni temu

      @Indi I believe android phones Samsung phones and the newer iPhones (with app) are able to, I just have a really old model iPhone 😅

    • Indi
      Indi 24 dni temu

      @Bambiii Boo oh my god there must be somewhere to download it so you can do that, now i wanna do it

    • ValentineMisfortune
      ValentineMisfortune 27 dni temu

      Can you put a time signature?

    • Overseeer2579
      Overseeer2579 29 dni temu +1

      Which Barbie movie?

    • Literally a fishhook
      Literally a fishhook 29 dni temu +1

      literally since i watched that video whenever i see the word balls i say it out loud exactly like that it's so fucking funny

  • Nich Jones
    Nich Jones 21 dzień temu +9

    "This summer" he says, the tour goes on to November. Kurtis, November doesn't count as "this summer"

  • Gabrielle Gazette
    Gabrielle Gazette 23 dni temu +3

    i'm watching this instead of doing my homework for my professional ethics course and trying not to laugh while my mom is right across the room from me is so hard. i may be 21 and dying in college, but that doesn't mean i'm actually going to do my work to end this suffering lmaoooo

  • Lunar paw
    Lunar paw 5 dni temu +1

    Thank you for giving me a distraction.
    I struggle with self harm and your vids always help me calm down

  • kjell eriksen
    kjell eriksen 26 dni temu +10

    I'm convinced this entire video was just a 30 minute set up for that last "What do I nose" joke at the end

  • Sheri Milloy
    Sheri Milloy 19 dni temu +4

    Hey I’m Ally and I just got my aunt (Jessica) to order merch just wanted to say I’ve loved you from the beginning and can’t wait to see you at tour with my dad!

  • Hyungdonydonydony itsrapmonymonymony

    Are we just not going to talk about how good Kurtis is at rapping? Like where did that come from??

  • carter
    carter 24 dni temu +7

    9:53 NOTHING could have prepared me for that scene

  • Life of Talise
    Life of Talise 8 dni temu +1

    When Pinocchio got shot I laughed so hard 😂 best part of the movie

  • Amelia Paine
    Amelia Paine Miesiąc temu +9439

    The diss track was too good to be just a bit. Genuinely hilarious writing and the perfect palette cleanser after the monstrosity that is this film!

    • Zen dya 💋
      Zen dya 💋 29 dni temu +1

      Eres un ídolo Memex.MONSTER siempre en mi corazón, hermosa, amor, elecciones, culturales.❤
      Son unos de los mejores conciertos

    • Hadiyah Hope
      Hadiyah Hope 29 dni temu +1

      palate*

    • Lexy Doerr
      Lexy Doerr 29 dni temu

      Exactly ✨

    • Aurie Locklear
      Aurie Locklear 29 dni temu +2

      Yeah kurt didn’t have to go that hard 🔥 but he did. For us.

    • you're lazy neighbor ツ
      you're lazy neighbor ツ 29 dni temu +4

      THE RHYMES REALLY GOT MEEEEE LIKE BRO IS TALENTEDDDDDDDD

  • Kawaii Potato Pug
    Kawaii Potato Pug 15 dni temu

    kurtis you didn’t have to go this hard on this distract but I love and appreciate that you did!

  • ジュンゴロ
    ジュンゴロ 22 dni temu +2

    Curtis spittin fire literally the thing I need to hear on a Monday morning

  • Carlo Corvaglia
    Carlo Corvaglia 15 dni temu +2

    As an Italian it hurts me every time you say the original movie referring to the Disney one. It was and it was beautiful but original story from the book is very different.
    However the video is perfect, just a point that I'm marking.

  • soiung toiue
    soiung toiue 25 dni temu +1

    The diss track was too good to be just a bit. Genuinely hilarious writing and the perfect palette cleanser after the monstrosity that is this film!

  • spiderdude2099
    spiderdude2099 Miesiąc temu +5625

    Fun fact:
    Paulie shore initially thought that the casting call was a prank call and didn’t think they were serious. But….nope. The directors asked for him by name and had him in mind for the English dub from the beginning. He even responded several times asking if they were 100% sure they wanted him for the role

    • Rhenn Rainbow Reviews
      Rhenn Rainbow Reviews Miesiąc temu +20

      You guys, this is exactly what he's always sounded like. It's the classic Pauly accent.

    • Amulet Coffee
      Amulet Coffee Miesiąc temu +4

      @Lysa Games nah fr

    • Lysa Games
      Lysa Games Miesiąc temu +69

      @Amulet Coffee I saw a video and he was told to just sound dramatic… but it def comes off as him talking like a gay stereotype💀💀

    • EddieIsVeryGay
      EddieIsVeryGay Miesiąc temu +4

      @Amulet Coffee ???????

    • Lenef Yecak
      Lenef Yecak Miesiąc temu +9

      I don’t believe you. It sounds like you made that up.

  • Lucy
    Lucy 6 godzin temu

    i have to admit, if i were a 54 year old man and i got an offer to voice pinocchio i’d have a very hard time saying no

  • Hauntingfri
    Hauntingfri 13 dni temu +2

    No matter how many times u say it “what do I nose?” never gets old.
    PS: Happy Bday Kurtis!

  • starryjake♡
    starryjake♡ 3 dni temu

    This movie never fails to make me laugh SO fucking hard every second of the movie it’s so stupid😭

  • Ren H.
    Ren H. 21 dzień temu +5

    Let’s not forget “Pinocchio’s Revenge”… good lord. That needs a deep dive all on it’s own.

  • PN4021 Secondaire
    PN4021 Secondaire Miesiąc temu +2599

    Can we just talk about the absolute BARS this man is spitting?

    • あせ
      あせ 28 dni temu +1

      @PN4021 Secondaire **insert sparkle sound effect**

    • An Account
      An Account 28 dni temu +3

      i cant handle these songs being good

    • あせ
      あせ 29 dni temu +2

      25:51 is the timestamp if anyone wants or needs it

    • PN4021 Secondaire
      PN4021 Secondaire Miesiąc temu +15

      @daveysbones I wood say that pun wasn't very good but again, what do I nose?

    • daveysbones
      daveysbones Miesiąc temu +11

      I believe you meant to say... BARKS? :)

  • Krista Williams
    Krista Williams 25 dni temu

    This is the hardest I’ve laughed for awhile, love this video Kurtis !

  • Diesel Hayes
    Diesel Hayes 3 dni temu

    Okay but I'm living for Kurtis being a face-cam + mullet version of Cinema Sins

  • ncrpaulina
    ncrpaulina 19 dni temu

    Great video! I loved it, even the diss track, so well produced, awesome job!

  • Caterina Stella
    Caterina Stella 23 dni temu +1

    9:02 That's actually accurate 🤣 There's also a famous italian song from the 70s called "Il Gatto e la Volpe" (=the cat & the fox) that is inspired from Pinocchio, it was also used in the movie Luca!

  • Queen Elizabeth II
    Queen Elizabeth II 29 dni temu +2904

    im sorry but a wooden boy becoming sentient and the first words out of its mouth being *"ALIIIIVE"* in paulie shores voice while ragdolling onto the floor is the funniest shit I've ever seen

    • Queen Elizabeth II
      Queen Elizabeth II 26 dni temu

      @A Ducky anytime
      sounds like a good time
      and yes, i did pick up the pun

    • A Ducky
      A Ducky 26 dni temu +1

      @Queen Elizabeth II
      It was mild. Slept it off by now, 8h later. Hope you had a good one! Thanks for the lulz, your post & how you expressed it was fun too.
      I do HIGHLY recommend watching Kurtis on weed.

    • Queen Elizabeth II
      Queen Elizabeth II 26 dni temu +1

      @A Ducky how high are you

    • A Ducky
      A Ducky 27 dni temu +2

      Watching this on 420 on 4/20 = double 💀

    • Viscount Rainbows
      Viscount Rainbows 27 dni temu +11

      Then the part when he literally gets capped by a blunderbuss-weilding fat cat screaming Mamma Mia. 10/10

  • Jennifer R.
    Jennifer R. 6 dni temu +1

    I'm watching this at the gym and laughing on the bikes 😅
    I've actually been called a butterface a few times 🙈🙈🙈 I also have a giant nose🤣🤣

  • Kat
    Kat 11 godzin temu

    the Pinocchio would joke might of been one of the best jokes i’ve ever heard

  • Bowser Fan
    Bowser Fan 15 dni temu

    As someone who loved the old Pinocchio, I didn't even know there was a new one lmfao.

  • Aimee Landry
    Aimee Landry 24 dni temu +4

    You might not ever even see this but I just wanted you to know that tonight, I woke up with severe anxiety and looked for anything to help calm me down.
    I put on some of your videos and your attitude and just your demeanor helped calm me down. So just know you're helping fans out here combat their own stuff just by being you and doing what you enjoy. Thanks for the videos. ❤ I appreciate you.

  • -insecticide-
    -insecticide- 28 dni temu +1229

    the way kurtis just didnt even say anything about the "thank you daddy" was really upsetting

    • Hannah 🤘
      Hannah 🤘 5 dni temu +3

      i think he slipped in a joke about it. yk how he was confused when geppetto randomly let pinocchio go to the circus and then he said "thank you daddy" and kurt said nevermind

    • project y.b.t.f.c
      project y.b.t.f.c 18 dni temu +37

      He used it in the distract after he says he'd start fibbing if Bella was on his face-

    • uglyavocado 0
      uglyavocado 0 23 dni temu +56

      It is in the diss track

  • LightLock
    LightLock 16 godzin temu

    yeah if they were going straight on the horse that would work. But he would've landed on the side of the horse realistically because they were going in a circle

  • lanadelreystan
    lanadelreystan 24 dni temu +9

    22:37 ngl that song kinda slaps

  • Pensive Scarlet
    Pensive Scarlet 18 dni temu +3

    The saying is, "Those who live in glass houses should not fire cartoony trumpet-shaped pistols."

  • Jaden Morrιѕ
    Jaden Morrιѕ 15 dni temu +2

    They deadass shot my boy Pinocchio, with no hesitation 😂😂