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The Internet's Most Absurd Lies

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  • Opublikowany 13 sie 2021
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    This week: we take a trip down memory lane and talk about some people lying on the internet. Enjoy!
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Komentarze • 18 598

  • Tara Mooknee
    Tara Mooknee 9 miesięcy temu +31517

    i am typing this with an uncooked egg yoke and this is true so beat that

  • tobis
    tobis 5 miesięcy temu +5428

    i remember i first heard of shifting and i was like, “so, advanced lucid dreaming?” and then received a death threat

    • Pre-Christmas Gift
      Pre-Christmas Gift Dzień temu

      SAME

    • Akacia
      Akacia 3 dni temu

      It's insane to me that they are just dissociating for hours. They are going to need so much therapy

    • Noa Vinokur
      Noa Vinokur 3 dni temu

      5.3k'th like lmao

    • abort ur grandma
      abort ur grandma 3 dni temu

      LMAO i fully believe in shifting and that is basically just what it is 😭 magicians be wack

    • Natalie Rettig
      Natalie Rettig 4 dni temu

      @Byleh Myneh it basically is but at the same time different 😭

  • Quaggo
    Quaggo 5 miesięcy temu +6865

    i wish i could shift to a reality where id never heard the phrase “fat smelly elf bussy”

    • chuuchuu
      chuuchuu 24 dni temu +2

      @Jack or Dwayne why? Just
      ✨w h y✨

    • peridotexe
      peridotexe Miesiąc temu +2

      WHAT.

    • Kimeenø
      Kimeenø Miesiąc temu +5

      I’m going to dislike your comment solely for reading those words, instilling it into my mind. No hard feelings.. :))

  • Jester Fairy 38
    Jester Fairy 38 5 miesięcy temu +1913

    On a genuine note, that salt portrait of Jesus was actually done by a very talented artist and I genuinely think the piece was very well done. Gravity could never.

    • REAL LARGE MAN THE GIANT ONE
      REAL LARGE MAN THE GIANT ONE Miesiąc temu +11

      @Jude Tedder well I mean technically it could happen but the odds are astronomically low

    • Jude Tedder
      Jude Tedder 2 miesięcy temu +19

      @Deepthi D he’s technically not wrong

    • Deepthi D
      Deepthi D 3 miesięcy temu +84

      "gravity could never" 😂😂😂

  • UhOhItsAngel
    UhOhItsAngel 4 miesięcy temu +1639

    i find it hilarious that the girl who claimed to get her Hogwarts acceptance letter didn't realize that you're supposed to get it when you're 11, according to the HP lore

  • Allie Bonnet
    Allie Bonnet 9 miesięcy temu +32754

    Actually, Kurtis, shifting is really real, I was able to shift myself into reality where I was an egg that fell on Jake's phone, so it was me, I liked the tweet.

    • 🤍Gon Freccess🐢
      🤍Gon Freccess🐢 21 dzień temu

      I actually shifted to shreds backyard🥺🥺

    • B-Side Studios
      B-Side Studios 21 dzień temu

      ok so it pretty much is like that except you can't control it. you know you're there and can do what you want but not whatever you want if that makes sense.

    • Allen Xav
      Allen Xav 29 dni temu +1

      Dude 😵 your the famouse egg

    • azu▪︎
      azu▪︎ Miesiąc temu

      @Life With Kai SAMEE

    • Allie Bonnet
      Allie Bonnet Miesiąc temu +2

      @AmvMasterMind yep, thank u :)

  • Mara Folse
    Mara Folse 4 miesięcy temu +1285

    PSA to anyone who is genuinely experiencing “shifting”:
    You’re using the WILD (Wake-Initiated Lucid Dream) technique. It is great and effective for lucid dreaming. I’m really happy for you getting to experience this insane aspect of the human mind.
    Please stop saying you’re a dimension traveling space wizard, it’s cool enough already.

    • cruella
      cruella 11 dni temu

      @can dace maladaptive daydreamers normally recognise that it’s nothing more than a day dream

    • 💋fezcoandlexishopelessromantic💋
      💋fezcoandlexishopelessromantic💋 12 dni temu

      Isn't lucid dreaming controlling your dreams? I don't think that's shifting but thanks tho!

    • George Washingpun
      George Washingpun 16 dni temu

      Idk if you go farther as to believe in astral projection. That sh*t is REAL. Astral projection, remote viewing. So many different ways our minds can tap into the universe we just have to be practiced.

    • Neeina N
      Neeina N Miesiąc temu +3

      As someone who had a phase where they were getting consistent sleep paralysis im so jealous of people who can “shift” took me a long time to train myself not to panic when it happens

    • shub
      shub Miesiąc temu +21

      @ARMY & Exo-L & NCTzen if it’s not disruptive, it’s not maladaptive. i have maladaptive daydreaming disorder(i have since i was a child) and it is not something to glorify. it’s a real disorder that develops as a response to (usually childhood)trauma and it is not fun or cute or pretty. maladaptive daydreaming isn’t just making up little stories in your head to help you fall asleep at night. it’s walking around your room for hours on end completely dissociated until your knees give out. it’s having painful callouses on your feet from walking miles in the 14-square-foot space of your bedroom but not being able to stop. it’s missing out on important foundational moments in your life because of the compulsive need to daydream. it’s watching your physical health slowly deteriorate and knowing deep down exactly why. it’s watching your grades drop and drop and drop until you have to leave school and start homeschooling. it’s missing your sister’s concerts, your brother’s basketball games, your friends’ shows. it’s not playing with your little brother anymore and then realizing he’s not so little anymore. it is a dissociative disorder and it is a compulsive disorder. it is not pretty or romantic. if you think your “maladaptive daydreaming” helps you or is healthy for you, either A) you have not realized exactly how much this disorder has actually affected your life, or B) you do not have maladaptive daydreaming disorder.

  • FeeshUnofficial
    FeeshUnofficial Miesiąc temu +284

    Store clerk: Sir, have you been vaccinated?
    Him: Do you gave a sexually transmitted disease?
    Store clerk: Why yes I do. Your wife gave it to me.
    A much more realistic story

    • woah
      woah 11 dni temu

      @LatchisswithanL touché

    • woah
      woah Miesiąc temu +5

      BAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA YES

  • Caitlynn Jordan
    Caitlynn Jordan 3 miesięcy temu +205

    One of my coworkers genuinely thinks the vaccine will make her grow a tail. I got my second dose back in June and I still haven't grown my tail. Disappointed

  • chonky
    chonky 2 miesięcy temu +176

    It's funny because in my country, 'shifting' is slang for making out with someone, so I was very confused at first when people claimed shifting was such a magical experience

    • Miss Hippie
      Miss Hippie 24 dni temu +5

      @chonky we are a rare find 💎

    • chonky
      chonky 25 dni temu +6

      @Miss Hippie good to hear! Idk why but it's fairly rare to bump into another Irish person on the internet 😭

    • Miss Hippie
      Miss Hippie 25 dni temu +7

      I most definitely am and proud of it lol

    • chonky
      chonky 25 dni temu +6

      @Miss Hippie haha yes, are you from here too?

    • Miss Hippie
      Miss Hippie Miesiąc temu +6

      Ireland?

  • Brigitta Schultz
    Brigitta Schultz 9 miesięcy temu +14493

    I ask my son who works in Detroit as an auto industry engineer if he's ever heard of "Iron" and he said yeah they're using it to create the Chevy Silverado. When i told him that's what was in our blood his jaw dropped...his words were trucks, they are making trucks.

  • SN0WR0SE
    SN0WR0SE 4 miesięcy temu +450

    10:46 as an atheist i can confirm we can totally can sense the location of christians and we totally break into their homes to mock them for their religion while they are trying to eat

    • MidnightMeadowz
      MidnightMeadowz Miesiąc temu +12

      @Tara G Same

    • Tara G
      Tara G 2 miesięcy temu +52

      Ugh as a Christian i can't even eat without atheists breaking down my door and my food becoming jesus

    • sobs
      sobs 2 miesięcy temu +30

      i had to physically hold my mouth shut whenever my family talked about god because i was a mean athiest, but suddenly god himself came down from the sky and said "hey put down the gun why are you in my house" and now i believe in sky papa #blessed 🥺🥺🥺☺️☺️☺️☺️😊😊😊😊😊😊🌸🌸🌸🌸🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🎀🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐🛐😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😚😚😚😚😚😚😚😚🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩🤩😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉😉🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳

    • keeprollin
      keeprollin 3 miesięcy temu +49

      I've spent four months in a Christian family while I was in Canada. Every dinner they prayed I mocked them until the salt fell. Now I am a Christian, too. There is no way the egg would have tasted this good without god's blessings!!

  • Caroline
    Caroline 3 miesięcy temu +351

    Ok but the STD question literally proved why it's important to ask if someone's vaccinated, would you have sex with someone without knowing if they have an STD? That's an incredibly important question to ask actually because you could literally infect someone if you didn't know. So asking someone if they're protected against something you can LITERALLY BE INFECTED FROM is an important question too!!!

    • kirsty wilson
      kirsty wilson 2 miesięcy temu +2

      @Hi hello There the contact tracing form is more private than medical records? The only contact tracing that I know of is digital. It tracks you everywhere you take your phone and if you test positive, your geographical activities are then distributed to everyone you came within 6foot of for the previous two weeks, even those whom you were physically divided from by a solid brick wall.
      On top of that, your geographical location can be accessed by anyone who decides to look at it and it it can potentially be abused by them, just because they can.

    • Hi hello There
      Hi hello There 2 miesięcy temu

      @kirsty wilson no I mean like, even first and third world countries can do that. Maybe even signing the contact tracing form is more private than medical records

    • Daniel Robinson
      Daniel Robinson 3 miesięcy temu +12

      @kirsty wilson except you do have that right if they are on your property if you require it

  • sophia
    sophia 4 miesięcy temu +155

    I think a lot of the people who genuinely believe that they “shifted” just literally had a dream. I’d be willing to bet that if you spend every waking moment thinking about attending hogwarts, especially right before you fall asleep, you’re sure as hell gonna have a hyper-realistic dream about it eventually.

    • shay
      shay 2 miesięcy temu +5

      you can shift while you’re awake though. it’s really cool. also, you can sleep in your dr. you can be there for years.

    • Alysha Walker
      Alysha Walker 3 miesięcy temu +25

      EXACTLY. thank you for saying it. this is the basics of psychology. If you think about something before you fall asleep, it will likely be in your dreams.

  • catradora's pr manager
    catradora's pr manager 3 miesięcy temu +148

    when I was 14 I tried "shifting" and I fully believe that's what caused my maladaptive daydreaming. I was genuinely so disconnected from reality it's embarrassing but now I just have a really bad dissociation and daydreaming disorder so thank you tik tok hogwarts shifters who told me I could escape by going to another reality bc that was GREAT for my mental health !!

  • Noodliest of Noodles
    Noodliest of Noodles 9 miesięcy temu +9449

    Hi Kurtis, I cried laughing at "just shift to a reality where I didn't say this" that is a top tier comeback and I'm obsessed with it thank you

    • vb 🎲
      vb 🎲 17 dni temu

      can't tell if y'all being sarcastic or genuinely saying "as a shifter"

    • chunkson
      chunkson Miesiąc temu

      I wish I had your fun brain

    • Andrea
      Andrea 2 miesięcy temu

      As a shifter that part was funny

    • Livvv
      Livvv 2 miesięcy temu +1

      I used it in a comment section once and the person responded "Well I could, but then I'd have to go back to this reality". Mans really didn't take the hint that I was making fun of shifting-

    • sam
      sam 2 miesięcy temu

      @squid coffee SAME

  • Nick Weston
    Nick Weston 4 miesięcy temu +104

    The salt Jesus one though... Do those people not realise that when a salt shaker falls over, there would be barely any salt that fell out because that's how those lids work

  • BaileyJ
    BaileyJ 29 dni temu +19

    I’m gonna try shifting into a reality where I go to sleep on time instead of drinking wine alone and rewatching old kurtis conner videos

  • Caio Rezei
    Caio Rezei Miesiąc temu +36

    Fun fact: as a kid, I loved Art Attack and I was sure that it was a Brazilian show, because it was clearly not dubbed. Years later, I realized they kept the projects and the script, but they re-recorded the parts with the presenter to use a Brazilian dude. They literally remade all the parts with a Brazilian presenter but kept everything that didn't had his face as the original recording.

    • Lumi Nience
      Lumi Nience Miesiąc temu +1

      @Caio Rezei Trying to find the video, but there was a black room that they did salt art. We went there in the Summer, but needed to take Winter Coats to what was a Winter Episode. Scene while was about a dozen or so people walking left-to-right (and vice versa) with Neil emerging from the center, he'd look like he was cold, then would prepare the Salt Art.
      That would be filmed a different day though.
      Space-wise it was in the same room as the white show room, just opposite from where they'd normally film it.

    • Caio Rezei
      Caio Rezei Miesiąc temu +1

      @Lumi Nience whoa, that must've been one hell of an experience
      Please, tell me...
      *DID YOU ENTER THE SALT ROOM? WAS IT TRULY A BLACK VOID?*

    • Lumi Nience
      Lumi Nience Miesiąc temu +4

      Been to the Maidstone studios where the show was being filmed at.
      The set was pretty impressive, but this was also a little over 20 years ago

    • zairacatania
      zairacatania Miesiąc temu +4

      In Italy they did that too

  • a c
    a c 3 miesięcy temu +90

    "and if you're upset with me, just shift to a reality where I didn't say this and we're all good" IM FUCKING PISSING MYSELF AT THIS

  • Mika Schumacher
    Mika Schumacher 9 miesięcy temu +11365

    I can't believe that I finally managed to shift into a reality where Kurtis Conner is real. Please I'm sobbing, I can't go back to my normal reality.

    • Talking Toaster
      Talking Toaster 2 miesięcy temu

      @7itus you just got clowned on by like 10 people how do you feel

    • Ok ok 🐸
      Ok ok 🐸 2 miesięcy temu

      Just say your safe word 🙄

    • buggo
      buggo 3 miesięcy temu

      @7itus 💀

    • badonkadonk
      badonkadonk 3 miesięcy temu

      @Mika Schumacher I’m not surprised.

    • Eric Finnigan
      Eric Finnigan 3 miesięcy temu +2

      @7itus how are your lucid dreams and delusions going?

  • Spinny Fish
    Spinny Fish 3 miesięcy temu +65

    Kurtis, those eggs you cooked look so dry. Try whisking the eggs while you cook them to make the egg bits smaller. That way they're more tender. This goes for you who's reading this too.))

    • Literally a fishhook
      Literally a fishhook Dzień temu

      @Elizabeth McCoy right?? even for the joke he should still treat his food with respect lol

    • Elizabeth McCoy
      Elizabeth McCoy 2 miesięcy temu +14

      I know it was for the bit but he didn't even season them! unacceptable

  • Emmerile
    Emmerile 5 miesięcy temu +42

    What if that one tweet from that author just went like this:
    "Are you vaccinated?"
    "Do you have a sexually transmitted disease?"
    "Actually, yes"
    "That's not what you were supposed to say! You have to say 'that's none of your business'!"
    And he'd still be tweeting it like he's the smart one in the situation
    That would be so much funnier

  • Grace Iges
    Grace Iges 3 miesięcy temu +27

    "You know, 2019? The last time... we were all *truly* happy." This man speaks the truth.

  • paranoid android
    paranoid android 20 dni temu +16

    As a schizotypal depressed person I am SO glad shifting wasn't a thing before I got treatment. That would have made the whole thing a hundred times worse, a whole community basically validating my delusions and adding fuel to the fire.
    People who seem to take shifting seriously are straight up lying to vulnerable people for clout, or have some mental health issues. Daydreaming, cosplaying, fanfic, whatever that's great. But straight up believing you're shifting to another universe? That's the most maladaptive coping mechanism I've ever heard of.

    • Oli Boli
      Oli Boli 13 dni temu +1

      THATS WHAT I SAID AND I GOT SO MUCH HATE FOR IT! I'm so glad I'm not going crazy and that other people agree with me that it's harmful, because, especially on Instagram, I totally felt like I was in the minority there

  • Sage Jennings
    Sage Jennings 8 miesięcy temu +11581

    Just gotta say: if that girl had actually gotten a Hogwarts letter, she would be expelled before she even went for exposing the wizarding world to Muggles

    • Alèxia
      Alèxia 2 miesięcy temu +1

      That’s why she was still here to make the video

    • Sophia Smith
      Sophia Smith 3 miesięcy temu

      FAX

    • pvic
      pvic 3 miesięcy temu

      OMG _THATS_ why we dont know!! the real ones never tell the rest of the world! IT WAS SO OBVIOUS

    • Ari Bantala
      Ari Bantala 3 miesięcy temu +6

      First of all, I wanna to thank this comment thread to inform me about the absolute "deep lore" stuff of Harry Potter universe. Because I do not even consume any Harry Potter stories and these deep lore stuff won't even cross my mind.
      I absolutely do not know that there's a Wizard school besides Hogwarts, Let alone one in America. And I just learned that there's 11 more of these wizard schools all over the planet... And that's just the "Ivy League" version, the Crème de la Crème... There's like hundred and thousands more of the smaller "It's great but not Ivy League great" ones.
      Thank you y'all... For informing this to another Muggles, so I can really nag those who claim they know the wizarding world that they got accepted to Hogwarts when they live in friggin Japan, Brazil, or America

    • leyla harrell
      leyla harrell 4 miesięcy temu

      yeah us commoners aren't supposed to know about this

  • HoneyDew
    HoneyDew 3 miesięcy temu +17

    I tried shifting a few years ago, mind you I wasn’t in the best place. Still aren’t, but nevertheless, it didn’t work 🙃
    It was definitely calming, thinking about your comfort characters and how you’d finally get to meet fictional people, in a fiction world you enjoy, but despite multiple tries it just doesn’t work fam. It’s okay if people want to lie to themselves and say that they shifted, that’s fine, but for those who are curious, yeah no it’s not real

  • Molasses
    Molasses 23 dni temu +3

    I will say, as someone who was into shifting, it's very cult like. Like in the way where everybody in it wants to be so convinced of these lies because it's the only coping they have. So you become intensely defensive about it, because you'd rather believe in a comforting lie than a hard truth.

  • Ben Dover
    Ben Dover 4 miesięcy temu +11

    True story:
    One time a band played a song, and everyone started clapping.

  • SadWasDead
    SadWasDead 28 dni temu +6

    idk why but i was imagining him eating a boiled egg like an apple. with the shell and all.

  • PatheticApathetic
    PatheticApathetic 7 miesięcy temu +11910

    imagine having the power to literally go to any reality you want, and you chose to shift to RIVERDALE of all places.

    • river
      river 9 dni temu

      I would go there /srs

    • WHOSARISA
      WHOSARISA 23 dni temu

      Dude I’d rather go to a trash can with 5 raccoons and 16 rats

    • Dragon Jinx
      Dragon Jinx 27 dni temu

      I wanna fuggin go to a reality where I'm a damn animal
      Simple things are entertaining for some reason
      But feckin RIVERDALE???
      Crazy people.

    • Sidra Abbas
      Sidra Abbas Miesiąc temu

      @sam no shit

    • sam
      sam Miesiąc temu

      @Sidra Abbas you would be a background character

  • S B
    S B 28 dni temu +5

    This is the second time I watch this video, and now it got me wondering how do the shifting people think about fiction. Do they believe j k Rowling and the authors of whatever story they shifted to wrote this stories because they shifted there themselves? Do they think these people have magic abilities with which they make these worlds appear after they write about them? Do they believe in the idea of infinite worlds? And also, how can they explain the numerous incoherences and plot holes that the fictional world of a story like harry potter has? I feel like I'm already thinking much more into this than the people who believe in it

    • S B
      S B 27 dni temu

      @Iambored ah, I understand. It's different than what I thought.. I hope your friend has found another way to cope with reality

    • Iambored
      Iambored 27 dni temu +3

      As someone who had a shifter as a friend (at least for her) it was more like lucid dreaming except they were pretending it was real. So they knew that it was fiction but then used that fiction to “script” a world that they would then enter. The best way I can describe it is unhealthfully coping using lucid dreaming. Idk it was weird

  • Pickle Rick
    Pickle Rick 5 miesięcy temu +8

    For me shifting is closing my eyes and thinking about whatever I want for hours and in visioning whatever I want in my own space and blocking out reality. Obviously im not actually somewhere else doing something different but it feels so real, it helps me sleep, and its my favorite thing to do.

  • hayden
    hayden 3 miesięcy temu +8

    kurtis’ reaction to that todd guy will forever be one of the funniest things i’ve ever seen

  • Caio Rezei
    Caio Rezei Miesiąc temu +2

    I've never heard about 'shifting' before this video. Months after it was released, I was in the barber and the dude sitting on the chair to my left started going on about how his sister was able to shift and he was so mad that he couldn't get the hang of it. Took me a lot of effort to not burst out laughing.

  • Dust
    Dust 9 miesięcy temu +5365

    I will never forgive Kurtis for making me read/hear the phrase: “fat smelly elf bussy”

    • Finding Ging
      Finding Ging Miesiąc temu

      @ARMY & Exo-L & NCTzen 21:22

    • ARMY & Exo-L & NCTzen
      ARMY & Exo-L & NCTzen 3 miesięcy temu +2

      Timestamp?

    • why
      why  7 miesięcy temu +2

      felt lmao

    • Ivan Giron
      Ivan Giron 9 miesięcy temu +3

      @the real miguel this is the most relatable thing ive ever heard lmfaoooo

    • Jaire
      Jaire 9 miesięcy temu +3

      Ew a furry

  • Kawaii Anime Macaron
    Kawaii Anime Macaron 2 miesięcy temu +8

    Honestly shifting is just lucid dreaming. I sometimes follow the tutorials to be able to lucid dream cause I literally can’t lucid dream without them (Not like you can’t lucid dream without the reality shifting tutorials it’s just the only way I can). I know shifting isn’t real but I don’t hate *everyone* in the community cause it made me able to have some pretty fun dreams. This video was very funny

  • [redacted]
    [redacted] 2 miesięcy temu +4

    Shifting is just “tiktok users discover using their imagination”

  • David Keener
    David Keener Miesiąc temu +2

    Really says a lot about Kurt that his first thought was “Alex is a guy and his dad gave him a hickey” instead of the much more obvious “Alex is a girl who cheated on her bf”

  • Dragon Jinx
    Dragon Jinx 29 dni temu +6

    6:24 honestly thought tiny drones flew out of his mouth because of the way they worded it.
    "His words were drones."

  • silver dandelions
    silver dandelions Miesiąc temu +7

    I do use the “shifting” thing, but its only when I go to sleep. I dont move my conscience completely, but I use a scenario of a comfort character (like someone from a show or cartoon or whatever) to actually sleep. it’s really good for me, with trauma, to fall asleep when I dont wanna have nightmares.
    the point is I’m just trying to show people that it’s not all bad and how it can really help with things. so I’m not dissing it, but please stop making it up if u do :)

    • Natalie Rettig
      Natalie Rettig 4 dni temu

      @Claude shifting has been a thing for a long ass time dude 💀

    • Claude
      Claude 26 dni temu

      That’s literally just either lucid dreaming or daydreaming. Newer generations just didn’t know it was a thing and decided to call it shifting ig

  • m
    m 5 miesięcy temu +2

    this is truly kurtis' comedic peak, literally nothing is funnier than this

  • Harrison
    Harrison 4 miesięcy temu +7

    High af that skit of the son and dad absolutely slaughtered me 🤣

  • Grey_ Whatshisname
    Grey_ Whatshisname 4 miesięcy temu +5

    I dont care about people shifting, like its just lucid dreaming/daydreaming, but i hate, despise, even, people who act like theyre better than others for being able to 'shift', or get mad at people who find it silly or try to talk about how its not real (like when they bully people who are just talking about their opinion calmly).

  • Amelie Ladybug
    Amelie Ladybug 9 miesięcy temu +4429

    Watching Kurtis press an egg onto his phone while contemplating what he's doing is by far the funniest thing ever

    • cristi san
      cristi san 9 miesięcy temu +1

      He was like contemplating his life decisions so far

    • Alisinea
      Alisinea 9 miesięcy temu +4

      IK HE FUCKING KILLED ME

    • Yesbutno
      Yesbutno 9 miesięcy temu +2

      Comedy gold

    • senseichang_
      senseichang_ 9 miesięcy temu +3

      Duuude😭😂😂😂

  • FunDumb Hero
    FunDumb Hero 3 miesięcy temu +2

    That shopping cart segment made me feel like I was tripping on acid again. Last time my dad put three sheets in my cereal before heading to my first day at middle school, just for a gag, ya know? We all had a good laugh for about ten hours, when I woke up in the hospital I found my ol' prankster pops giving the Dr. a hickey. Anyways, I gotta go shift to a reality where people aren't eating dewormer and throwing shakes at minors.

  • Minx
    Minx 4 miesięcy temu +2

    As an Irish guy, this shifting stuff is hilarious. Shifting has a slightly different meaning in Ireland xD

  • Chicken Permission
    Chicken Permission 4 miesięcy temu +4

    Honestly, if the entire video had just been him making lye jokes, I still would’ve loved it.

  • Angi Adcock
    Angi Adcock 2 miesięcy temu +1

    Your reaction to that photo is the funniest thing I've seen in a long while. Genuine comedy.

  • Sabrina Yoder
    Sabrina Yoder 9 miesięcy temu +5333

    In short, everyone needs to get the vaccine so Kurtis doesn’t have to be an indoor boyfriend anymore

    • chey
      chey 21 dzień temu

      @Sabrina Yoder ohhh noooo don’t tell susan wojabberwocky, we’ll all get banned for wrong think 😱

    • Sabrina Yoder
      Sabrina Yoder 21 dzień temu

      @chey YALL IM NOT EVEN VACCINATED THIS WAS A FUCKING JOKE 💀

    • chey
      chey 22 dni temu

      hope that myocarditis is worth it 😬

    • Han Pines
      Han Pines 29 dni temu

      @Kimara that's against the law

    • stuff and co
      stuff and co Miesiąc temu

      trust me man i want to but mum says i already got it

  • Broi sorret
    Broi sorret 3 miesięcy temu +2

    dude the whole shifting thing just boggles my mind, i had an ex that was so set on shifting to a video game and it would just rub me the wrong way how obsessed she was with wanting to go there. she was a depressed girl and like 20 years old and was soooo convinced that she could shift to a make-believe world thats pure fiction, i seriously cant dude

  • bucky ban
    bucky ban 2 miesięcy temu +4

    It's very telling that literally no shifting account I've come across on Instagram is run by anyone over 19.

  • ingee a
    ingee a 3 miesięcy temu +15

    It’s lucid dreaming. That “shifting” shit is literally lucid dreaming. I enjoy TikTok, but I also hate it.

  • Mya Hostutler
    Mya Hostutler 17 dni temu

    I already loved Kurtis, but this video made me love him 1000 times more

  • Just Some Guy without a Mustache
    Just Some Guy without a Mustache 9 miesięcy temu +5046

    As someone who can't even recall what they've dreamt for the past 2 years, I can't relate to this lucid dreaming stuff

    • Patch
      Patch 4 miesięcy temu +1

      I do. One thing you can do is try your best to recall everything you possibly can right after you wake up, repeat it in your mind until you remember it. Have a dream journal. Sleeping on your back isn’t completely necessary but statistically it does help. Doing “awareness checks” like taking note of your surroundings helps because in a dream, you’ll be able to recognize that something isn’t familiar to you.
      But be careful too. I lucid dream almost every night...on a good night. Sometimes you can have night terrors, unable to escape or wake up, kind of like sleep paralysis but you’re aware of everything in your dream. It can be traumatic, even.
      So it’s all up to you. Some people can’t, some people can, some people need to put in effort to do it. I got lucky, if you consider it, to be able to be lucid while dreaming without putting much work into it.

    • Ari Artsy
      Ari Artsy 5 miesięcy temu

      As someone who lucid dreams every time i sleep... I don't remember half my dreams don't worry

    • Socio C.H
      Socio C.H 5 miesięcy temu

      @[Cloudy•Sky] I used to lucid dream a lot when I was younger. Idk when or how but I developed some form of insomnia in my early teens so I’ve learned to do it while awake instead. Kinda like Maladaptive daydreaming but it doesn’t feel the same and it’s pretty adaptive. It’s a little frustrating though.

    • spacecat
      spacecat 5 miesięcy temu

      I’ve done it and naturally but started doing it on purpose. But not often and it would never last long enough. But I mostly lost the ability to medication I’m on. Hopefully will regain it one day.
      It’s never had an impact on waking life. Some people worry it can affect waking life but there’s ways to test if you’re in a dream or not. You do reality testing. Loads of information online about it.
      Obviously like anything else, if you feel it’s badly impacting waking life, stop but if it doesn’t, carry it on.

    • emily morales
      emily morales 6 miesięcy temu

      @Alomende what about astral projection? do u recommend against that as well?

  • FinalMyle
    FinalMyle 3 miesięcy temu

    A little late to the party here, new sub and loving your content. I hope I get to see a live show of yours one day (stares longingly into the middle distance).
    You can order a Hogwarts letter and it comes looking legit. They do a fantastic job on them, wax seal, 2nd door down the hall on the right and all that Jazz. SO her parents probably ordered it for her and was like; look honey, your letter came! You're going to be a wizard! Or is it a magician? I get so confused. It could be an Artificer or sorcerer, which honestly sorcerer makes more sense, since their magic is inherent and wizards have to study to learn magic. Correct me if I'm wrong but wasn't everyone that attended Hogwarts already able to do magic even before they started studying, wouldn't that make them a sorcerer? O_O
    Or she ordered it and is just an insane person.

  • Claire LaVelle
    Claire LaVelle 2 miesięcy temu +20

    "Do you have a sexually transmitted disease?"
    "No actually because I follow recommended guidelines to protect myself and those I come in close contact with"

  • yaitskosh
    yaitskosh Miesiąc temu +1

    I like how he started off saying it’s ok for me not to want the vaccine but then dogs on me two seconds later😂😂😂 I love you kurtus 👏🏾👏🏾

  • Misa
    Misa 3 miesięcy temu +2

    Shifting seems like a mix between meditation and daydreaming to me 🤷‍♀️

  • peppermint
    peppermint 9 miesięcy temu +2497

    the obsession with shifting is so interesting because it literally encourages dissociation/the idea that your current reality isn't good enough for you to live in

    • Undisclosed Steve
      Undisclosed Steve 28 dni temu

      @Hi hello There TLDR: but whatever trauma you're talking about probably isn't that bad😂

    • Hi hello There
      Hi hello There 28 dni temu

      @Undisclosed Steve and also, after all the trauma I've experienced I'd rather be a duck than a living human being

    • Hi hello There
      Hi hello There 28 dni temu

      @Undisclosed Steve well excuse me for it being hard to type on a tablet with a small keyboard.
      But I guess this really kinds proves a point of mine that I said. Considering you never read it.

    • Undisclosed Steve
      Undisclosed Steve 29 dni temu

      @Hi hello There I stopped reading after "ducking." So I did refute that atleast. And the fact you just said you wish you were a duck makes me think I probably wasn't missing much from the rest of the comment.

  • AmberNRose
    AmberNRose 3 miesięcy temu

    The salt gag has me dying 😂😂😂 hands down my favorite

  • SaruCharmed
    SaruCharmed 4 miesięcy temu +2

    I mean, if a small bit of egg that was covered in your saliva fell on a phone, it's very possible for it to stick there and so I could see it happening to land on the like button and activate it. Your piece was too big and dry. I don't think that's necessarily a lie. I've had just water droplets sometimes click things on my phone I didn't want it to.

  • Bunnie Trixx
    Bunnie Trixx 18 dni temu +3

    "Shifting" is just kids figuring out what lucid dreaming is 😒

    • Natalie Rettig
      Natalie Rettig 4 dni temu

      I both lucid dream and shift and they feel very different. Also shifting is not a new thing. It’s been a thing for many years

  • enfx
    enfx 2 dni temu

    Kurtis: "If you can go to other realities, you should be in the MCU"
    *America Chavez has entered the chat*

  • Zombiesfromjupiter
    Zombiesfromjupiter 9 miesięcy temu +3392

    kurtis asking himself 'what am i doing' as he's squishing a piece of egg on his iphone is comedy gold. for once in my life i wanna say 'thank you jake paul'

    • Large Boi
      Large Boi 9 miesięcy temu +12

      I read this before watching the video, thank you for blessing my eyes

  • Teodora H
    Teodora H Miesiąc temu +2

    So from what I’m hearing, shifting is closing your eyes and imagining stuff right? Like in a universe that exists in media and making up stories? So fanfic? But not written? Ngl, I basically put myself to sleep like this

  • CraZcatladee Studios
    CraZcatladee Studios 5 miesięcy temu +2

    The idea of going to hogwarts could be kinda neat, but the shifting stuff confuses me. I remember my dad making me a fake hogwarts letter for my 11th birthday cause I liked Harry Potter at the time, but obviously it wasn't real. There's honestly too many potholes about hogwarts existence for it to exists (JK needed an editor jeez)

  • V Killjoy
    V Killjoy Miesiąc temu

    Cant find any other creators that make me laugh this much in every video thank you so much

  • Emilee N.
    Emilee N. 3 miesięcy temu +2

    When people say stuff like “This is all true, I’m not lying. I don’t have 7 people held hostage in my basement,” I can’t help but think part of that is a lie

  • Chrissy K
    Chrissy K 9 miesięcy temu +28695

    The most unrealistic part of Jake's tweet is him trying to convince anyone he uses the word 'upon' on a regular basis.

    • PufferEX
      PufferEX 8 miesięcy temu +1

      LANDED UPON MY IPHONE SCREEN

    • lovely
      lovely 9 miesięcy temu

      lol true XD

    • Ебать Швецию
      Ебать Швецию 9 miesięcy temu

      @Conk love conquers all?

    • your mom
      your mom 9 miesięcy temu

      @johanna that’s not him it’s a fake account

    • Jay
      Jay 9 miesięcy temu

      @johanna it's fake

  • Togixgojo
    Togixgojo 3 miesięcy temu +1

    The shifting videos literally made me adapt to a healthy sleep cycle it was insane. I have trouble sleeping and that went away when I did the little meditations. Now I don’t believe it but when I stop watching them it takes me hours to sleep so I’ll keep doing it 😭

  • MicroMoron
    MicroMoron 3 miesięcy temu +8

    Kurtis is so goddamn funny and I just can't. Literally every effing joke he makes lands and I die laughing. Every skit is so fucking funny and original. The glue cart omg.

  • Joshua Perales
    Joshua Perales 3 miesięcy temu +1

    Any time I picture myself back in high school with my neck covered in hickies I get so embarrassed...I hope I can talk my son out of doing that shit

  • Pink Aesthetic
    Pink Aesthetic 2 miesięcy temu

    Another video that made me laugh, keep up the amazing work Kurtis! :D

  • juno
    juno 8 miesięcy temu +4081

    "the group of nonbelievers fell to their knees" has the same energy as "the jock dies instantly"

    • carbonated cats
      carbonated cats 3 miesięcy temu +26

      @Saint Somnia
      It’s from a Tumblr shitpost making fun of fake internet stories where the person narrating it retells a story of how a jock calls them a “pussy” and the narrator hits them back with “well you are what you eat”. Then, after they say that, they follow up with how the jock instantly dies, everyone claps, and Obama appears

    • Saint Somnia
      Saint Somnia 4 miesięcy temu +6

      Wait what is "the jock dies instantly" from?

    • Andrew Marling
      Andrew Marling 6 miesięcy temu +19

      The Jesus one was definitely ironic

    • estie JELLY bestie
      estie JELLY bestie 7 miesięcy temu +58

      Then everyone clapped

    • kt
      kt 8 miesięcy temu +114

      The cop started reading the homestuck update on his phone and started freaking out and his partner gave him a shock blanket

  • Maya The Swiftie
    Maya The Swiftie 4 miesięcy temu +1

    I tried to do reality shifting a year or two ago and I almost got maladaptive dreaming and my derealization got a lot worse 😭

  • Prettyboy Reid
    Prettyboy Reid 2 miesięcy temu +1

    Shifting is SO easy to poke fun at. I really enjoy it mostly because I got into it when I was younger and it gave me a reason to take care of myself. It’s really kind of a silly concept but it never hurts to learn how to meditate anyways.

  • Quinn
    Quinn 2 miesięcy temu

    7:27 never fails to make me laugh so hard

  • Aromity Ren
    Aromity Ren 5 miesięcy temu +6

    I think that shifting is actually just livid dreaming! It's the same for astral projection! People really live the experience in their head

  • missXspencer1
    missXspencer1 9 miesięcy temu +6088

    It's not about whether Kurtis' jokes are corny or not. The *real* focal point is the masterful level of which he commits to the follow through.

    • ChaoticKreg
      ChaoticKreg 8 miesięcy temu +1

      His jokes last so long that they'll take you home and tuck you in

    • Aniyilator
      Aniyilator 9 miesięcy temu +1

      def read that as fecal pts

    • Donald M
      Donald M 9 miesięcy temu +1

      😂😂😂😂💔💔💔

    • Koryn Killerby
      Koryn Killerby 9 miesięcy temu +1

      @Josh the Joshey Boii why did you do that to me

    • Anthony
      Anthony 9 miesięcy temu +2

      fecal point.

  • Kaelyn Ursin-Smith
    Kaelyn Ursin-Smith 3 miesięcy temu +1

    So the concept “shifting” (as far as I can tell) is basically lucid dreaming but pretending the “reality’s” you go to are real. Lucid dreaming is something that can be accomplished by certain types of meditation in which you are able to be fully self aware while dreaming. Because you’re self aware you can then put yourself in several different “universes” or even ones that are slightly altered from your own to change things for the better. But anyone who actually knows what they’re doing knows that it’s not a legitimate reality you’re in. It’s a fictional universe you have created in your dream that you can alter at your own will when done correctly. It sounds like someone on TikTok took this concept and ran with it with out fully understanding what the hell they’re talking about

  • Izabella German
    Izabella German 2 miesięcy temu +2

    I feel like the whole "shifting" concept is just lucid dreaming

  • Max Martin
    Max Martin 19 dni temu

    I tried shifting bc I wanted to lucid dream and instead I just had sleep paralysis where i felt like dozens of demon hands were trying to pull me into my mattress

  • Helena McLeod
    Helena McLeod 4 miesięcy temu +7

    just for the egg thing. it would literally be impossible to drop it and have it do something in your phone unless you were still touching it. you p[hone screen isn't made t pick up on the touch of something, it needs an electricity to it. so, your finger works because you have natural electricity in you. to use something else on your phone it would need to be an electric conductor to be able to move the electricity from where your fingers are touching it, through the item, and onto the phone where the item it touching it. so, apparently egg is an electric conductor, however it isn't a source of electricity. farther more, of you were to hold a different electric conductor, like foil (wrapped around a pencil) and you hand was touching the foil part, it would work on your phone screen. not because of the material of the foil, but because it conducts the electricity from you hand onto the phone screen. and wow that was pointless. :)

  • Sakhi Naik
    Sakhi Naik 9 miesięcy temu +3346

    The way Kurtis was speechless after he liked a tweet with egg

  • M N
    M N 2 miesięcy temu +3

    Moon Boy taught me that shift in Ireland is making out. "If you tell anyone about this I'll shift your sister!" 🤣

  • Italian Greyhound Mum
    Italian Greyhound Mum 2 miesięcy temu +1

    I'm 35 and from the uk and when I was in primary school I used to watch Art Attack every day it was on when I got home from school. I loved that flippin programme with its wacky ideas that I tried (and probably failed at!)!
    But...
    Does anyone remember that creepy talking stone head bust thing?! That thing always creeped me the hell out!! 🤣🤣🙈🙈
    He would try always try to recreate the art that Neil had made but would always make mistakes and then laugh!! So flippin creepy!! 🤣🤣🙈

  • Kyle Van Hook
    Kyle Van Hook Miesiąc temu

    This whole video had me laughing, thank you

  • floridahacker
    floridahacker 3 miesięcy temu +1

    The funniest most absurd part of this to me was the insinuation that I was happy in 2019

  • very good youtube channel trust me
    very good youtube channel trust me 9 miesięcy temu +2971

    kurtis conner

  • Amber A
    Amber A 2 miesięcy temu +3

    Me when I purposefully spread misinformation on the internet

    • Generic Name
      Generic Name 27 dni temu

      Did you know that rabbits can vomit up their intestines as self defense? Trust me, I'd never lie

  • Dragon Jinx
    Dragon Jinx 29 dni temu +4

    I ask my son who works at a grocery store if he ever heard of apples and he said yeah they're using it to create energy for the human body. When I told him that's what was in the food his jaw dropped...his words were living human beings. They are making living human beings.

    • Pinapplear
      Pinapplear 14 dni temu

      @Dragon Jinx 😱😱😱

    • Dragon Jinx
      Dragon Jinx 14 dni temu

      What happened? Did you just realize Uranus is flat?

    • Pinapplear
      Pinapplear 14 dni temu

      AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

    • Blobfishyyyyy
      Blobfishyyyyy 15 dni temu

      @Dragon Jinx bro… omg. We’ve been tricked… imma have to buy my nutter butters somewhere else

  • Monkeybone
    Monkeybone Miesiąc temu +1

    I wish I could shift to a reality where people don’t dream about shifting

  • BBchicki
    BBchicki 3 miesięcy temu +1

    When I was young I also shifted to my favorite stories' realities but back in my day we just called it using our imagination........

  • randa khanafer
    randa khanafer 9 miesięcy temu +8209

    if i had a nickel for every time kurtis has green screened himself into his own room, i’d have two nickels, which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it’s happened twice

    • Lord of the Mugs
      Lord of the Mugs 8 miesięcy temu +3

      Almost didn’t recognize it

    • why tho?
      why tho? 9 miesięcy temu +8

      @Allura Jane oop-

    • Allura Jane
      Allura Jane 9 miesięcy temu +32

      we don't know that it only happened twice tho 👀

    • Julia
      Julia 9 miesięcy temu +12

      IM SO HAPPY PEOPLE STILL KNOW THIS

    • Airotiv
      Airotiv 9 miesięcy temu +5

      🤣 I LOVE this comment 💜

  • Darke Imp
    Darke Imp 5 miesięcy temu

    A true re-enactment of the "Nutter Butter Incident" would've been over in 0.00 seconds when the guy walked into the store and was absolutely never asked about his vaccine status.
    Also I'm glad I found this channel through Hasan's streams, your videos are hilarious!

  • tobietera
    tobietera 3 miesięcy temu +1

    In keeping with the "lying on the internet" theme (kinda) there is a theory going around that Neil Buchanan is Banksy. I mean, obviously he's not but it's still kinda funny.
    Love the videos dude, keep up the good work.
    PS. For many many reasons, too numerous to go into here, I genuinely think Banksy is 3D (Robert Del Naja) from Massive Attack.

  • kissxingqiu
    kissxingqiu 3 miesięcy temu +2

    6:26 I got the vaccine in October and I'm still not a drone. I've never felt more betrayed in my life

  • breanne hunt
    breanne hunt 5 miesięcy temu +2

    Your vaccine rant was SATISFYING. Thank u for that

  • punkemochic
    punkemochic 8 miesięcy temu +9405

    "hasn't jk rowling done enough damage" i literally cackled so hard egg fell out my mouth and liked this video

    • goldynexa
      goldynexa 5 miesięcy temu +1

      What a coincidence. An egg fell and liked your comment! Also..... 🥚

    • Fainting Willy
      Fainting Willy 7 miesięcy temu +1

      Liked what you did there

    • nt_partlycloudy
      nt_partlycloudy 7 miesięcy temu +16

      I literally laughed so hard that all of the eggs in the chicken coop feel out of my mouth hole and liked this comment. When I looked around, everyone in the egg carton started clapping and I was awarded a Nobel peace prize for discovering the mini drones in the vaccine.

    • Cheyenne Petersen
      Cheyenne Petersen 8 miesięcy temu +13

      and then we all clapped

    • b00bies
      b00bies 8 miesięcy temu +2

      @- Icedcoffeeat1am - no it was fate