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Lying On The Internet For Attention

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  • Opublikowany 24 paź 2019
  • Go to buyraycon.com/kurtistown for 15% off your order! Brought to you by Raycon.
    It's capping season, my dudes! In part 3 of this series, we take a look at a great collection of QUALITY lies told on the internet for attention. Enjoy!
    yeahthatdef...
    www.reddit.com/r/thatHappened/
    watch part 1 & 2:
    www.youtube.com/watch?v=dSUIb...
    www.youtube.com/watch?v=0Iel5...
    MY SOCIAL MEDIA:
    kurtisconner
    kurtisconner
    COME SEE MY MONTHLY SHOW IN NYC:
    • thepit-nyc.com/events/kurtis-...
    COME SEE ME IN ALBANY & SYRACUSE
    • albany.funnybone.com/Comedian/...
    • syracuse.funnybone.com/Comedia...
    MERCH:
    • shop.kurtisconner.com
    VERY REALLY GOOD PLclip CHANNEL:
    • plclip.com/channel/UCtZZ...
    MY PODCAST:
    • open.spotify.com/show/3nGVLHp...
    • podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast...
    thanks for watching!
    comment "mr pibb is hell juice" if ur reading this

Komentarze • 19 085

  • Zora113
    Zora113 Rok temu +14269

    My 1 year old daughter just said her first words! She rapped the entire Hamilton musical! And she did the choreography! And the entire country started clapping! Then some government agents came and took her away for testing or something. Hopefully they'll give her back at some point.

  • K.O.R.Y.!
    K.O.R.Y.! 11 miesięcy temu +2961

    no cap my mom was yelling at the delivery man and my dog physically said, "only I can yell at them!" and proceeded to transform into cinderella. All the dogs in the neighborhood escaped and barked in approval.

    • MC (Lei Kakichi)
      MC (Lei Kakichi) 15 dni temu +1

      Its true, I was the pizza

    • Kabir
      Kabir 2 miesięcy temu +1

      @• drugs

    • Gummi Latte
      Gummi Latte 3 miesięcy temu +2

      It’s true I was one of the dogs that escaped

    • violet
      violet 3 miesięcy temu +2

      omggg i think i remember thisssss

  • Under15
    Under15 6 miesięcy temu +251

    As someone who would definitely say “phones don’t belong at school” when they were a kid I can confirm that that lady’s son is a loser.

  • kusuo Saiki
    kusuo Saiki 11 miesięcy temu +1231

    My son's first words were "According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly.Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground.The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible.Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black. Yellow, black.Ooh, black and yellow!Let's shake it up a little.Barry! Breakfast is ready!Coming!Hang on a second.Hello?Barry?Adam?Can you believe this is happening?I can't.I'll pick you up.Looking sharp.Use the stairs, Your father paid good money for those.Sorry. I'm excited.Here's the graduate.We're very proud of you, son.A perfect report card, all B's.Very proud.Ma! I got a thing going here.You got lint on your fuzz.Ow! That's me!Wave to us! We'll be in row 118,000.Bye!Barry, I told you, stop flying in the house!Hey, Adam.Hey, Barry.Is that fuzz gel?A little. Special day, graduation.Never thought I'd make it.Three days grade school, three days high school.Those were awkward.Three days college. I'm glad I took a day and hitchhiked around The Hive.You did come back different.Hi, Barry. Artie, growing a mustache? Looks good.Hear about Frankie?Yeah.You going to the funeral?No, I'm not going.Everybody knows, sting someone, you die.Don't waste it on a squirrel.Such a hothead.I guess he could have just gotten out of the way.I love this incorporating an amusement park into our day.That's why we don't need vacations.Boy, quite a bit of pomp under the circumstances.Well, Adam, today we are men.We are!Bee-men.Amen!Hallelujah!Students, faculty, distinguished bees,please welcome Dean Buzzwell.Welcome, New Hive City graduating class of 9:15.That concludes our ceremonies And begins your career at Honex Industries!Will we pick our job today?I heard it's just orientation.Heads up! Here we go.Keep your hands and antennas inside the tram at all times.Wonder what it'll be like?A little scary.Welcome to Honex, a division of Honesco and a part of the Hexagon Group.This is it!Wow.Wow.We know that you, as a bee, have worked your whole life to get to the point where you can work for your whole life.Honey begins when our valiant Pollen Jocks bring the nectar to The Hive.Our top-secret formula is automatically color-corrected, scent-adjusted and bubble-contoured into this soothing sweet syrup with its distinctive golden glow you know as... Honey!That girl was hot.She's my cousin!She is?Yes, we're all cousins.Right. You're right.At Honex, we constantly strive to improve every aspect of bee existence.These bees are stress-testing a new helmet technology.What do you think he makes?Not enough.Here we have our latest advancement, the Krelman.What does that do?Catches that little strand of honey that hangs after you pour it.Saves us millions.Can anyone work on the Krelman?Of course. Most bee jobs are small ones.But bees know that every small job, if it's done well, means a lot.But choose carefully because you'll stay in the job you pick for the rest of your life.The same job the rest of your life? I didn't know that.What's the difference?You'll be happy to know that bees, as a species, haven't had one day off in 27 million years.So you'll just work us to death?We'll sure try.Wow! That blew my mind!"What's the difference?"How can you say that?One job forever?That's an insane choice to have to make.I'm relieved. Now we only have to make one decision in life.But, Adam, how could they never have told us that?Why would you question anything? We're bees.We're the most perfectly functioning society on Earth.You ever think maybe things work a little too well here?Like what? Give me one example.I don't know. But you know what I'm talking about.Please clear the gate. Royal Nectar Force on approach.Wait a second. Check it out.Hey, those are Pollen Jocks!Wow.I've never seen them this close.They know what it's like outside The Hive.Yeah, but some don't come back.Hey, Jocks!Hi, Jocks!You guys did great!You're monsters!You're sky freaks! I love it! I love it!I wonder where they were.I don't know.Their day's not planned.Outside The Hive, flying who knows where, doing who knows what.You can't just decide to be a Pollen Jock. You have to be bred for that.Right.Look. That's more pollen than you and I will see in a lifetime.It's just a status symbol.Bees make too much of it.Perhaps. Unless you're wearing it and the ladies see you wearing it.Those ladies?Aren't they our cousins too?Distant. Distant.Look at these two." I'm so proud of him 🥰

    • Eliyah Opperman
      Eliyah Opperman Miesiąc temu

      Wow he is so smart

    • Elly ZE SAVAGE BANANA
      Elly ZE SAVAGE BANANA 2 miesięcy temu +7

      when
      when your son recites the start of the bee movie

    • Kyle Reese
      Kyle Reese 2 miesięcy temu +5

      @just your local cat in a box tldr
      *too lie-y didn’t read

    • Claire El Shkmak
      Claire El Shkmak 2 miesięcy temu +4

      *insert aeugh sound effect*

    • Holly Hayes
      Holly Hayes 3 miesięcy temu +5

      I have no idea what you just said, but I Approve©. 👌🧐🐝

  • reviewer12341
    reviewer12341 4 miesięcy temu +266

    I love when people pull the bullshit about their kid's first word because my kid's first word was "quack" because I was making a duck bill out of two pringles stuck in my mouth and I was so surprised I inhaled them and coughed for an hour.

    • Alison Lazarus
      Alison Lazarus 15 dni temu +3

      Mine was "oy!"
      I said it right after i fell over.

    • gracieisbored
      gracieisbored 21 dzień temu +3

      on a lighter note, my sister’s first words were “domino’s pizza” in a horrifically warbled tone because she heard an advert say it and i laughed so hard i choked

    • Holytitmouse
      Holytitmouse Miesiąc temu +3

      My parents always told me my first word was 'damn' because my dad constantly cussed around me. I wonder if that's part of the reason they divorced 😬

    • Lan
      Lan Miesiąc temu +3

      This is too funny haha I wish i could have favourite comments

    • A Ducky
      A Ducky 3 miesięcy temu +29

      And all the ducks are still clapping! 👏

  • Lisa Mackilligan
    Lisa Mackilligan Rok temu +10622

    All these stories are true, I was there clapping

  • Samuel Thornton
    Samuel Thornton 6 miesięcy temu +227

    That pen pal one is so funny because he could've said, "oh, it was a pen pal service you sent the letters to, to protect everyone's privacy." But instead my guy just goes with amnesia.

    • Mocap Cow
      Mocap Cow Miesiąc temu +17

      My Man forgot he uses a pen pal service, he has amnesia

  • Kiwi The Parakeet Tiger!
    Kiwi The Parakeet Tiger! 11 miesięcy temu +573

    damn that’s crazy. i’m 2 months old, and my adoptive half-lizard son’s first words were “mother i require another container filled with lactose substance” he also keeps saying “this mortal body is limiting” he’s so adorable

    • 『 Aspen the Microwave 』
      『 Aspen the Microwave 』 2 miesięcy temu +1

      Man my moms new TV that she recently installed in her tum tum really got some good quality shit. Oh and the demons cool too

    • Amber Burleson
      Amber Burleson 3 miesięcy temu +8

      Congrats! You are now 1 month old, as it has been 2 months since this comment!

    • Jaymes
      Jaymes 5 miesięcy temu +19

      I can't wait till I'm 2 months old ❤️

  • julia
    julia 11 miesięcy temu +224

    "pull the plug pull the plug!"
    "what do you mean, she's not even on life support."
    "well then put her on life support and THEN pull the plug."
    That will always be the funniest skit Kurtis has ever made to me.

    • julia
      julia 4 miesięcy temu +2

      @Letizia Poggioli annaBAE you mean

    • Letizia Poggioli
      Letizia Poggioli 4 miesięcy temu +2

      I have found the other Annabeth

  • A P
    A P 7 miesięcy temu +109

    I have a feeling security cameras in classrooms is a very American thing, so I'm not surprised Kurtis hasn't heard of it happening

    • Thomas T.
      Thomas T. 3 dni temu

      How do you say you have a feeling it’s American and then say you’re surprised he hasn’t heard of it 💀 that makes no sense

    • Jennifer Jackson
      Jennifer Jackson 6 dni temu +1

      It’s definitely not a very American thing it’s not remotely common at all to have security cams in classrooms.
      Hallways and large gathering areas for sure tho. It’s a school not a prison.

    • humanbonesdealer
      humanbonesdealer 22 dni temu +1

      my school doesn’t have cams in the classroom, probably so an intruder can’t check the cams and find the kids

    • readyfreddie46
      readyfreddie46 27 dni temu +1

      @Zana Colx my school doesn’t have any in the classrooms either; however, there are cameras in the hallways

    • Diliana Hristova
      Diliana Hristova Miesiąc temu

      I am from Bulgaria and we have it here too. So idk about the American thing

  • JD Toaster
    JD Toaster Rok temu +14467

    I’m 14 years old and my 16 year old daughter just said her first words after I gave her her first beer and she said “The government is corrupt” she’s only 5

  • Anna M
    Anna M 7 miesięcy temu +102

    One of my unfertilized eggs just said to me "Mother, I have decided after much deliberation that I desire to create commentary videos on the internet website known as 'PLclip' when I grow up" and then proceeded to recite the entirety of every Kurtis Conner video from memory. I'm so proud.

    • Lagg 421
      Lagg 421 Miesiąc temu +4

      It's true I'm the egg

    • The shy TF2 snake
      The shy TF2 snake 6 miesięcy temu +10

      She got angry so she ran off on a tampon, it’s true, she’s at the dumpster rn playing cards with the rats 💕

  • Evelyn Wright
    Evelyn Wright 3 miesięcy temu +20

    my niece actually only said "mom" for about a year until she did bust out with "can we go outside?" it was like looking at an alien, my sister had set up an appointment to have her tested because she was almost 3 before she said mom. some kids just dont want to talk until they want to

  • Jasmine Justice
    Jasmine Justice 6 miesięcy temu +29

    My school had cameras in the classrooms but they weren’t watched constantly. If anything, they were looked at after something happened, like a fight or theft.

  • Gina Pellegrini
    Gina Pellegrini 5 miesięcy temu +24

    I’m with Kurtis on everything except the “first words are a sentence” thing. My uncle didn’t speak until he was around 2 years old and his first words were essentially “can you pass the salt, please?” I don’t know if he was practicing when he was alone or something but that’s the family lore. He’s also a very strange and off-putting man, so it’s totally in character for him to pull that creepy shit

  • screensneaker
    screensneaker 2 lat temu +15859

    everybody gangster until kurtis almost leaves us extra-greetingless

  • R3DF00L
    R3DF00L 7 miesięcy temu +22

    I was doing chores around the house while babysitting my little sister. She's 6months old btw. While I was washing my couch, suddenly, I heard my sister said "iridocyclitis" I'm so proud of 🥲🥲

    • thea
      thea 22 dni temu

      *insert "Like the vine" meme from tiktok"

  • microsoftpainenthusiast
    microsoftpainenthusiast 7 miesięcy temu +16

    You know it‘s a God Blessed story when it ends with “and everybody clapped”.

  • Ironbanner 12
    Ironbanner 12 3 miesięcy temu +16

    Yes Kurtis, my school has security cameras in every class. The cameras are streamed to the staff room, atleast what I've seen.

  • The Endless Chapter
    The Endless Chapter  3 miesięcy temu +9

    Our school actually had security cameras installed a few years back. We also had security guards for the gates. The person infront of the cameras wasn't a guard though, it was one the teachers and eventually a former teacher from a different school. He was sort of like the "deputy" of the disciplinary council. Brought the trouble makers in to talk and take to the principal. The cameras were mostly used to make sure kids don't use phones during class time, but it was kinda weird at the start.

  • Eddie Paldam
    Eddie Paldam 2 lat temu +23617

    me: *wakes up from surgery*
    me: where's kurtis?
    doctor: who do you think gave you the extra greeting?
    me: :,(

    • Bug
      Bug  2 miesięcy temu

      @Baby yoda it’s been 2 years what is the TikTok username

    • Banana the kitten
      Banana the kitten 5 miesięcy temu

      HELP

    • kris
      kris 10 miesięcy temu +1

      he doesnt do the extra greeting anymore :(((

    • MČŸT ĖDÎTÕR
      MČŸT ĖDÎTÕR Rok temu +1

      @Katie Rundle when you wish on wish.com you can buy HUMAN TEETH

    • rqyzilla
      rqyzilla Rok temu

      @Katie Rundle LMAO

  • butterss
    butterss 3 miesięcy temu +8

    "phones don't belong in schools"
    My teacher literally every lesson: bring out your phones please

  • Daksha Pandey
    Daksha Pandey 6 miesięcy temu +13

    "To baby, or not to baby? That is the question."
    -Kurtis Connor
    I'm laughing so hard at this. My humor is broken 😂

  • Lexus Fox
    Lexus Fox 6 miesięcy temu +10

    I feel like they’re trolling, there is no way these people lack that level of self-awareness. I refuse to believe it.

  • Rozz
    Rozz 5 miesięcy temu +5

    these remind me of when you lie to your friends on the 3rd grade playground so they think your life is cool

  • Gottkönig Horus
    Gottkönig Horus Rok temu +4088

    My childs first words were actually: "Father, I find it saddening that our fellow human beeings feel so inadequate about themselves that they wouldn`t even lie about something they themselves accomplished but that they have to live out success through obvious make belief about their offspring."
    So yeah. Looking for an exorcist.

    • 『 Aspen the Microwave 』
      『 Aspen the Microwave 』 2 miesięcy temu

      Haha little Timmy is possessed again :)

    • ThePoPo Potato
      ThePoPo Potato 3 miesięcy temu +1

      i read that in an accent and a deep voice so yeah, fitting for a new born

    • Carmen Mercedes
      Carmen Mercedes 5 miesięcy temu +1

      @Khumo Mogola truetruetruetrue

    • Khumo Mogola
      Khumo Mogola 5 miesięcy temu +1

      Why hire an exorcist when you can hire an assassination party? Heck, me and the gang will do it for free just because he's possessed

  • Pax Productions
    Pax Productions 10 miesięcy temu +17

    Is he not gonna mention the fact that even if the trombone did some how transmit those words into the text thingy, there was no way it would have gotten posted?

  • Indybot
    Indybot 11 miesięcy temu +13

    I remember being really resistant to having a cell phone at school, but that's because the concept of being available 24/7 was still new, it was intended for emergency use, and also I was one of those indie kids who took things way too far and got all sanctimonious about any sort of new trend. It was pre-smartphone times, too. So really the conditions for a teenager not wanting a cell phone at school is if they're pretentious and the phone is a brick that only the parents have the number to. The list of very good reasons to keep a phone at school has grown exponentially by the year. It takes a pretty garbage parent to prioritize their kid not texting in class over their child being left isolated during a school crisis.

  • Douglas Powter
    Douglas Powter 6 miesięcy temu +8

    The first words thing is actually something that can happen, usually amongst those on the autistic spectrum. They've probably embellished with the details though as most stories tend to.

  • Em Dove
    Em Dove 3 miesięcy temu +3

    For the closet one: Aren’t most closets too small to get dressed in there without making noise? Not everyone has a luxurious walk-in closet Kurtis 🤭

  • jem
    jem 2 lat temu +1989

    kurtis turning his jokes into long-extended skits for EACH JOKE is what makes him the best channel on this app

    • Joshuah Lewis
      Joshuah Lewis 20 dni temu +1

      This man is an international treasure

    • Destiny Warrington
      Destiny Warrington 26 dni temu

      I agree it’s my fav part

    • Carter On AIDS
      Carter On AIDS Miesiąc temu

      I prefer Danny.

    • Adwait Gharpure
      Adwait Gharpure 2 miesięcy temu +7

      @Taryn Nolen yea cause when you open the browser then Drew gooden's channel is the best one cause it is the only one

  • sobs
    sobs 2 miesięcy temu +4

    my sons first words were literally "this feeling
    .... its like the floor is collapsing, like the sky is falling down upon you, this feeling of despair! " hes so smart #proud #keepinghope 🥺💗🌸💐🌷🌺🥰😍😘

  • MemeLord0909
    MemeLord0909 10 miesięcy temu +5

    I love the moment he realizes how terrible his jokes are.

  • Hbomb TX
    Hbomb TX 10 miesięcy temu +8

    we have security cameras in our classrooms, but no one would be able to watch them all at the same time, no one watches them at all, they record the classes so you could go back and watch the tapes in case something bad happens the cameras are almost never accessed. They dont have a live feed, you'd have to be pretty childish and/or stupid to think a security guard would be watching only your camera on a recording camera.

  • Aidan Aidan
    Aidan Aidan 8 miesięcy temu +8

    I can just imagine the daughter opens her eyes, and they're sharingan.
    "You've fallen for my genjutsu, father."

  • N o p e
    N o p e 2 lat temu +15472

    I like how he glossed over the fact that one-year-olds can’t really talk

    • Stripes & Jay
      Stripes & Jay 16 dni temu

      @Keira. not full sentences

    • CaityCat132
      CaityCat132 27 dni temu

      I mean I talked at like 1 and a half, like full sentences. I could even sing a little so it’s not impossible. It’s just how fast or slow people develop.
      It is significantly more rare for boys tho so (not that I’m saying it wasn’t a dumb lie) it’s just possible lol

    • i have lemonade
      i have lemonade Miesiąc temu

      they babble, or say simple words. definitely not full sentences.

    • Kid Icarus
      Kid Icarus 2 miesięcy temu

      I just got done babysitting a two year old and I could barely understand her 😅

    • Liv Pemintel
      Liv Pemintel 2 miesięcy temu

      Some one years olds can speak but very few talk in full sentences

  • Barnowl65
    Barnowl65 3 miesięcy temu +6

    "That's Mr. Pibb, so you're going to hell. If it was Dr. Pepper, you'd have a one way ticket to heaven." Finally! Someone gets it! Kurtis, I love you!

  • Korn Flakes
    Korn Flakes 10 miesięcy temu +8

    One time I was so lonely, my cat walked on two of her legs and hugged me she also told me"that it's okay to be alone since at the end of the day we're all lonely creatures ridden with thoughts that plague us" thank you kitty

  • Jonathan F
    Jonathan F 10 miesięcy temu +4

    To be fair, I took a long time to talk and doctors were concerned about me but I suddenly started speaking in full sentences. I obviously didn’t make that much sense, but it does happen (according to my parents)

  • Zippy
    Zippy 6 miesięcy temu +7

    my least believable story is probably that my dad found out he was related to his nextdoor neighbor because she had a picture of one of his relatives (shared relative) in her house LOL they still stay in touch

    • Shann Simms
      Shann Simms 3 miesięcy temu +2

      I can Believe that.

    • Zippy
      Zippy 6 miesięcy temu +1

      he was also best friends with the dad of the guy who invented drop box

  • Ansley is Kinda Cool
    Ansley is Kinda Cool Rok temu +19475

    imagine if kurtis' middle name was fred. his initials would be kfc

    • 〜Willow〜
      〜Willow〜 19 dni temu +1

      @Miraculous: Tales of Obliviousness Freddy sorry I’m really sorry omg- also I’m Canadian if you couldn’t tell lol sorry

    • Miraculous: Tales of Obliviousness
      Miraculous: Tales of Obliviousness 19 dni temu +1

      Or franklin! Or francis, or ford, or frederick or whatever other name starts with an F

    • Shiguemy
      Shiguemy 24 dni temu

      Gyygy tu y

    • Rania Raza
      Rania Raza 28 dni temu

      This is gold

    • 〜Willow〜
      〜Willow〜 Miesiąc temu

      Has nothing to do with the video but it’s just so good

  • Nancy Hernandez
    Nancy Hernandez 9 miesięcy temu +12

    I was 3 and my 8 year old daughter had to surgery at the facetune hospital because a crab spat in her mouth. Now she has very detailed teeth :D

  • Overthinker
    Overthinker Miesiąc temu +2

    9:23 “we should probably go grocery shopping later” is such a ‘what do grown-ups talk about’ default fake sentence lmao
    Like it doesn’t sound too unrealistic at first but that’s a topic starting sentence and it’s so vague a normal person would respond with something like “okay when do you want to leave” instead of just “👍”
    Also I’m not married but I don’t think spouses usually go grocery shopping together either

  • Shanique Frater
    Shanique Frater 10 miesięcy temu +3

    The first one was meant to be a lie but its still hilarious 🤣

  • I am B O R E D
    I am B O R E D 4 miesięcy temu +3

    10:59 schools do have security cameras, but I don't think they're monitored at all times. Their n just for stuff like if someone breaks in or something.

  • réka budai
    réka budai 2 lat temu +15338

    *girl wakes up after surgery*
    “where’s kurtis conner?”
    “he didn’t tell you?”
    “what?”
    “who do you think gave you the facetune eyes?”

    • 〜Willow〜
      〜Willow〜 Miesiąc temu

      I’m sorry this had my laughing for 10 minutes lol

    • Late Dawns
      Late Dawns 4 miesięcy temu

      I love your pfp

    • vivawoah
      vivawoah 8 miesięcy temu

      @Lio Fotia that isn’t very hopeful

    • Blade🕸
      Blade🕸 8 miesięcy temu

      😂😂😂

    • goofy
      goofy 9 miesięcy temu

      @lev she forgor💀

  • Raizen R 238
    Raizen R 238 Miesiąc temu +1

    I mean, my family has the "first sentence" kid but he was like nearly 3. He said Nothing until near 3, getting by pointing and shouting. It was really simple, just "I want juice." Not some long ass shit. So while the details of that story give it away as a lie, the phenomenon isn't unheard of, buts its usually due to the kid surviving non verbally till an older age.

  • LINKTHINGS
    LINKTHINGS 28 dni temu +1

    He loves his viewers so much he forgot to guilt trip them for not subscribing, YAY.

  • Stripes & Jay
    Stripes & Jay 19 dni temu +1

    imagine having a well paying job as an aquarium manager and quitting just because a fish spit on you

  • SpicyBean Tofu
    SpicyBean Tofu Miesiąc temu

    Had metal detectors in my middle school in Milwaukee and cameras. When I moved up north it was weird how open everything was then some issues happened and they started having cameras at the doors. You had to buzz in.

  • Cheyenne Golden
    Cheyenne Golden 4 miesięcy temu +7

    True story my first words were "I not stink!" In response to my dad telling my mom she needed to change me cuz I apparently stunk🤣😂

  • Jude Gibson
    Jude Gibson 9 miesięcy temu +25

    I'm so proud of my pet dog. She just learned to juggle and Irish dance, all while singing the entire of KSI's new album. She also learned how to shape shift into a motorbike and fly to every country.

  • Rachel Cabezola
    Rachel Cabezola 9 miesięcy temu +8

    I fed my uncle and then he shrank to the size of my toe, but don’t worry I paid off his debt a year from now

  • Lill3ism :3
    Lill3ism :3 19 dni temu

    i laughed so hard i choked on the tea ive been drinking I swear I'm not lying lmao

  • Grace Holland
    Grace Holland 2 lat temu +10470

    Fun Fact about Kurtis: He was born wearing a nose ring and a necklace.

  • Misterrorschach
    Misterrorschach 4 miesięcy temu +1

    I actually came out of the womb talking. I asked my mom wtf she thought she was doing lying down. Then I made the doctor give me $200 and I went to the strip club and bought half lap dances for everyone just to blue ball every one.

  • Ollie❤️
    Ollie❤️ 8 miesięcy temu +1

    "Wireless earbuds are too expensive!" Me listing thru my wireless earbuds: I totally agree

  • Billy McGee
    Billy McGee 4 miesięcy temu +2

    15:18 that stuff was definitely not true but my son didn't talk at all until a couple months after he turned 2 and really did start speaking full sentences, but not like the crazy shit they posted. More like "gotta go pee dada" or "I love you" or "I want-" whatever food he wanted. So the people could've just exaggerated what happened

  • Matthias Breiter
    Matthias Breiter Miesiąc temu

    With 3 or 4 years that first story could be true. My nephew was so sad I had to leave because I had to work. And then his parents said "we all have to work" - he insisted he wants to work now, too :D

  • Wezen
    Wezen Rok temu +18275

    omg guys🥺🥺my newborn dad just graduated Harvard in Europe i’m such a proud sister😊😊

    • Flower Pot
      Flower Pot 25 dni temu

      My cat gorilla says your ho dad needs a shower he says he smells like seafoam in mouth w/ earwax in the oven at 350 for 2 hours till doubles size then fill with car bumpers . Have a tree day and earth grass 🧭🎙️

    • Claude
      Claude 26 dni temu

      @Paqarrazzi Yes, there’s one in Boston, France

    • MJ Llama
      MJ Llama Miesiąc temu

      Hol' up

    • mobile player
      mobile player Miesiąc temu

      Nice

  • Ashley Reynolds
    Ashley Reynolds 3 miesięcy temu

    thanks for all the laughs, Kurtis!

  • Jonah Scott’s fat Bussy
    Jonah Scott’s fat Bussy 4 miesięcy temu

    My middle school had enough in the budget for 1 security guard and 2 cameras (both of them being in major hallways) so our school was the least secure thing ever

  • Bia II
    Bia II 3 miesięcy temu +1

    My school had tons of cameras and the receptionists in the front office, guidance office and all other staff offices where people worked had receptionists looking at the security cams. 🤷🏻‍♀️ so it’s not always security guards, we had one officer on site.

  • Sakata Mio
    Sakata Mio 3 miesięcy temu +1

    I actually started to talk in full sentences from zero words. But I wasn’t as eloquent of course as the babies in this post. Based on talking to guys in my support group, it happens with autistic children sometimes 🤷‍♀️

  • AmboreD
    AmboreD Rok temu +3725

    "Pull the plug!" "Shes not even on life support. There is no plug to pull." "Then put her on life support and pull the plug."
    One of my favorite lines, probably ever

  • Rosemary Mayfair
    Rosemary Mayfair 5 miesięcy temu

    When I was 1 I definitely full on cussed out a doctor that took my stitches out with no anesthetic.

  • dave slam jam
    dave slam jam 2 dni temu

    for the "toddler saying first words that are a whole sentence" that is actually a thing that sometimes happens to kids who are autistic. they don't say anything until they understand how to speak well enough to say a full sentence.

  • Dara Boyd
    Dara Boyd 21 dzień temu

    When I was in high school, there was this guy who ran cross country and apparently was really good at it, so over the summer (between my junior and senior year, summer of 2004) he got sent to Australia to run in some race or something.
    He came back to school and told everyone this wild story and expected everyone to believe him:
    He was out at a surf competition, naturally impressing everyone around when he got attacked by a shark that ripped his legs off. He got his legs sewed back on (somehow the dark was more interested in sabotaging his race than actually eating) and within a week, he was running this cross country race through the Australian bush. He of course was ahead in the race but dropped back when he saw another guy laying on a rock who was dehydrated and also got punched by a kangaroo (who he, the storyteller, beat up) put the passed/punched out guy over his shoulders and kept running only to win the race, way ahead of everyone else.
    He told this story with such confidence and vigor that it was almost sad to see.

  • Amanda Herbert
    Amanda Herbert 3 miesięcy temu

    That security guard bit was exactly how my sleep paralysis dreams start…

  • eleanor brady
    eleanor brady Rok temu +5541

    omg im so proud of my lizard 😭 she got on her tail and started singing amazing grace at my weird uncles funeral 💞

    • Mochi_Kiti
      Mochi_Kiti 6 miesięcy temu

      Yup. I was the casket

    • Punky Jewster
      Punky Jewster 7 miesięcy temu

      That just sounds like normal Florida

    • H
      H 8 miesięcy temu

      can confirm, i was the uncle

    • I need therapy, send help
      I need therapy, send help 9 miesięcy temu

      Omg, I wish to have a lizard as talented as yours 🥵😭✨

    • Luigi
      Luigi 9 miesięcy temu

      Wait... amazing grace is not meant to be sung by a lizard. But I’m very proud of her too!

  • Glitch
    Glitch Miesiąc temu +1

    Even if the fish story was real, the manager is right. Eating a cookie could definitely make the fish really sick or even kill it

  • Eipheres Dedrahm
    Eipheres Dedrahm 7 miesięcy temu +3

    the toddlers speaking in full sentences is actually a thing lol... i was a late talker, and apparently my first coherent words were "i NOT sit down." my mom's first words were "i want more cake, please." some kids are just like that lol 🤣

    • Aliya
      Aliya Miesiąc temu

      Yes, actually that's true, my friend's kid was like that. Actually the same with bilingual kids, they are late talkers, but then they started to talk in both languages and most of the time by sentences))

    • Tastes Like Cat Food
      Tastes Like Cat Food 7 miesięcy temu +2

      It's weird to me how little comments about this there are, because my brother was exactly like the first story.
      He took awhile to get talking, and when he finally did he went right into full sentences. Granted, they weren't terribly coherent, he spoke them as if they were all one long word, but you could still make out the sentence if you tried.

  • Chaarvi Chavan
    Chaarvi Chavan 5 miesięcy temu

    15:16 I have a brother that doesn't talk at the right time.
    That's an absolute lie. He's right now learning if an object is over or under the table after 1 year of therapy. And I'm not exaggerating.

  • Lunar DeBrie
    Lunar DeBrie 10 miesięcy temu +1

    "And I think I would.. BE MURDERED if I didn't do them."
    Watch the whole of Kurtistown pull up with weapons. We let it slide once, but not twice.

  • lukewarm water
    lukewarm water 2 lat temu +9126

    “I think I’d be murdered if I didn’t do an extra greeting.” You got that right #kurtisconnerisoverparty

    • Porter Crane
      Porter Crane Rok temu +1

      I love when I read a comment while hearing the exact same line in the video while I do so. Its amazing

    • mahe pernot
      mahe pernot Rok temu

      same #kurtisconnerisoverparty

    • reallyy funny ༼0o0;༽
      reallyy funny ༼0o0;༽ Rok temu

      Ikr, that extra greeting was MY LIFE, and Kurtis ended me😭

    • Keaden They-Them
      Keaden They-Them Rok temu +1

      @Emma Leese do you feel better now?

  • Kaptain Viciorious
    Kaptain Viciorious 2 miesięcy temu

    I have always been told that my first words were a sentence, "I wanna get out!" I was in a pool. And it was my first birthday. We're my parents lying to me? Lol 😂😂😂

  • Misterrorschach
    Misterrorschach 4 miesięcy temu +4

    Can you imagine being the person that ends up in these videos but the story is actually true?

  • 777 666
    777 666 11 miesięcy temu +1

    15:20 Hey that actually happens here and there, at least for kids that are about three years old or so that haven't talked before. I think it's especially common among some autistic kids, but I don't think that's always the case.

  • Vic Ross
    Vic Ross 2 miesięcy temu +1

    11:05 You're not wrong. In fact, I'm pretty sure it's illegal to have cameras in classrooms in the US (or at least some parts). I'm not 100% sure though.

  • Maria
    Maria Rok temu +5841

    I’m 14 years old and my daughters first words were “all lives matter” so I gave her up for adoption, she was 6

    • Maria
      Maria Rok temu +2

      @Jakman char* yea lol this used to be a shared account with my older brother, it was on his name but I wanted to listen to music so we (aka my mother) decided to share it

    • Aquarius Amethyst
      Aquarius Amethyst Rok temu +1

      @nathanmabz The comment was a joke, but I knew a girl who got pregnant at 11 years old. My niece had her first period at 9. It’s possible.

    • Sandy Fyffe
      Sandy Fyffe Rok temu +2

      Realistically, that was the best option lol.

    • Galaktion Eshmakishvili
      Galaktion Eshmakishvili Rok temu +1

      Mine's was "Despite making up only 13% of the population"

    • Maria
      Maria Rok temu

      @Couch Cushion indeed

  • Cyanide_Lollipop
    Cyanide_Lollipop 10 miesięcy temu +2

    My 1yo grandson spent his life's savings on a new car for me. Everyone at the dealership clapped when he said, "I'm so fortunate to have the perfect grandmother!" (it was his 1st sentence)!! Then he did backflips all the way home.

  • Gay Frogs
    Gay Frogs 5 miesięcy temu

    Lying on the internet for no reason seems so fun

  • KalikaInLeather
    KalikaInLeather 11 miesięcy temu +1

    I used to love guitar and bass for rock sounds, and cello and organ for weirder, out there epic compositions.. but that was then. Now my soul belongs to THIS trombone. It's just.. ineffable

  • Ubiquitous_Corn
    Ubiquitous_Corn 5 miesięcy temu

    This morning my dog stood up and said "they'll never believe you." IM NOT LYING!!!

  • Alejandra Martinez
    Alejandra Martinez 2 lat temu +2701

    Kurtis’ skits are the funniest thing ever:
    “To baby or not to baby” 😂😂

    • Iz Zy
      Iz Zy 2 lat temu +3

      @𝕽𝖔𝖘𝖊 this was the best. Ever. 😂

    • 𝕽𝖔𝖘𝖊
      𝕽𝖔𝖘𝖊 2 lat temu +51

      "PuT HeR On LiFe SUpPOrt AnD PUlL ThE PlUg"

  • Molly Ham
    Molly Ham 10 miesięcy temu +8

    Yesterday my 2 year old kitten ate a whole uncooked hot dog and I took him to the hospital but no doctors where available so I did cpr and saved his life. The whole ward started clapping and David Attenborough gave me an award from the queen 🦀🔥❤️

  • Brian G
    Brian G 10 miesięcy temu +1

    I laughed way too hard when you said "i was at a aquarium" LOL. "uh uh"

  • Freddytowns Towns
    Freddytowns Towns 2 miesięcy temu

    Most definitely, my schools had a security camera in each class center of the crawling, that made it so hard to relax, but at least the bathrooms didnt

  • askmeifilikeapples
    askmeifilikeapples 3 dni temu

    This video reminds me of the time my mom yelled at my sister for spilling juice and all my 5 alexas turned on and yelled at my MOM!!!! it was so crazy! my mom ran away crying and everyone in my house clapped for the alexas!! even my uncle!

  • InVālįdPērsøń 4Ø4
    InVālįdPērsøń 4Ø4 11 miesięcy temu +2550

    “Put her on life support and pull the plug”
    I’m using this as a threat

  • lizalia lizard
    lizalia lizard 10 miesięcy temu

    One time when i was a sophomore the teacher yelled at me for not doing homework…. I told her to shove it and the entire class slow clapped after i dropped the mic

  • Anastasia O
    Anastasia O 3 miesięcy temu

    Honestly, I had a pen pal and didn't know they were in the same neighborhood as me. The only reason I didn't know was because I was never taught how zip codes worked from anyone and I never looked up what they were until we met each other. Obviously, it wasn't for 30 years, and it was when I was a teenager, but it's interesting people lie about that stuff lol.

  • Chongo
    Chongo 6 dni temu

    That whole *first word* thing is actually very real. I spoke my first words around 2 years old, and it was pretty much the exact same sentence in that Facebook post. I am being a 100 percent real here.

  • 456puff
    456puff 8 miesięcy temu

    I didn't start talking until about two and a half, according to my parents. My first words were 'tie dye' followed by 'trick or treat' (my mom was carrying me while my older siblings trick or treated). It's actually possible for babies who talk late to say longer words, Einstein was an example of this, for real. But whole sentences? Yeah no.

  • sam 21
    sam 21 Rok temu +9668

    My son was only a week old when he said "never gonna give you up,never gonna let you down,never gonna run around and desert you,never gonna make you cry, never gonna say goodbye,never gonna tell a lie and hurt you" everyone in the neighborhood clapped.

  • eviewoah
    eviewoah 5 miesięcy temu +7

    3:06, no 1-year-old baby wouldn't be able to talk that fluently, like- ffs

  • Gentle Li ASMR
    Gentle Li ASMR Miesiąc temu +1

    “I don’t even know if schools have security cameras” Watch out folks we’ve got a Canadian over here

  • hapi champagne
    hapi champagne 3 miesięcy temu

    2 years later-I would’ve loved to go to that comedy show lol 😂

  • bumblebee560
    bumblebee560 4 miesięcy temu

    Actually, it's uncommon but some kids do wait until they can form a simple sentence. I didn't, I was vomiting up single words as soon as I knew what they meant like a normal kid, but my sister went straight from not talking to very basic sentences. And it WAS a little startling for Mom, lol.

  • Final hazard
    Final hazard Rok temu +3047

    I still can't believe how hilarious this dude is "Pull the plug" "She isn't on life support, there's no plug to pull" "Well put her on life support and then pull the plug"

    • Jonathan Soelle
      Jonathan Soelle 11 miesięcy temu +36

      I saw the joke coming but the delivery was fucking amazing 🤣