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I Lived Like a Billionaire for a Week

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  • Opublikowany 13 sty 2022
  • Use code KURTISTOWN16 for up to 16 FREE MEALS + 3 Surprise Gifts across 6 HelloFresh boxes plus free shipping at bit.ly/3qnuluI
    I followed "The Billion Dollar Morning Routine" for a week to see if it would turn me into a billionaire...you won't believe what happens.
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    thanks for watching!
    comment "dang ur alpha breath stinks" if ur reading this
  • ŚmieszneŚmieszne

Komentarze • 8 602

  • eggzellent
    eggzellent 4 miesięcy temu +5825

    as someone who works at a smoothie shop, i can say without a doubt that people order that exact smoothie and worse everyday

    • Sam Arnold
      Sam Arnold 5 dni temu

      @REAL LARGE MAN THE GIANT ONE it’s a phrase

    • exo's vocals
      exo's vocals 26 dni temu

      its delicious 😭

    • REAL LARGE MAN THE GIANT ONE
      REAL LARGE MAN THE GIANT ONE Miesiąc temu

      @Imani Johnson you don't have to write quote unquote if you're also using actual quotation marks

  • Cory Springer
    Cory Springer 3 miesięcy temu +4933

    As a certified dream interpreter, I can confidently say all of the dreams Kurtis described at 12:00 mean the exact same thing.
    Those dreams mean he was sleeping.

    • Iwalk Mygoose
      Iwalk Mygoose 15 dni temu

      Yoo thanks that really cool I will reflect on this now

    • steebelieves!
      steebelieves! 21 dzień temu +1

      Master dream interpreter

    • steebelieves!
      steebelieves! 21 dzień temu +1

      Wow you are so smart‼️‼️‼️🔥🔥😭😭😭thank you for this information we couldn’t have figured it out without you omg

    • WHOSARISA
      WHOSARISA 23 dni temu +1

      Wow

    • Alix
      Alix 23 dni temu +1

      @human bean this is true

  • z. spinney
    z. spinney 3 miesięcy temu +3170

    My husband is a personal trainer and he has explained the physiological benefits of going from really cold to really hot (ice bath then sauna and repeat) but I cannot stress enough how little I care about that because cold showers are Evil Incarnate.

    • S. NickerdoodleApplePeep
      S. NickerdoodleApplePeep 7 dni temu +1

      but going from hot to cold all of the sudden and vice versa makes you tired because of the drastic temperature change, that doesnt seem like it would be very productive imo

    • Byeon 변
      Byeon 변 27 dni temu +4

      *cries in lives in the hottest asian regions and needs cold baths to escape the jaws of heat stroke*

    • Valerie Barbera
      Valerie Barbera Miesiąc temu

      Omg maybe my little brother was on to something when he used to jump from the hot tub to the ice cold pool over and over again every time we were somewhere with both a hot tub and a pool

    • LL
      LL Miesiąc temu +1

      In German sauna at least, you're supposed to shower cold then jump in the ice bath. So I guess alongside washing off the sweat it also helps you easing in to avoid shock.

    • Bologna
      Bologna Miesiąc temu

      My aunt once did something similar and her leg permanently crippled 😔

  • Alexa Graham
    Alexa Graham 3 miesięcy temu +1772

    the crossover I never needed: kurtis and my boss (the narrator of the fucking morning routine video) 💀😭 I hate it here

    • Sophie
      Sophie 6 dni temu

      Your boss is just flexing how much free time he has because he's a billionaire lol

    • Any Castanha
      Any Castanha 20 dni temu +2

      Does he pay well? Is he hiring Brazilians? Lmao

    • UsualToaster268
      UsualToaster268 21 dzień temu +11

      i can’t imagine watching kurtis connor and my teacher just starts talking. that seems so surreal

    • P. B.
      P. B. Miesiąc temu +7

      Screaming

    • Miranda Coplin
      Miranda Coplin Miesiąc temu +60

      I saw ur boss speak at a science seminar so I was really confused as to why he was making billionaire lifestyle content (he never talked about being a billionaire when I saw him speak just the memory and brain health stuff) then I saw your comment that another channel uploaded the video 😂 thank you for answering a small question that would have bugged me for way longer than it should have!

  • cmm3699
    cmm3699 3 miesięcy temu +892

    This dudes morning routine is almost exactly what I had to do everyday when I was in the psych ward.

    • Alayna
      Alayna Dzień temu +1

      @Captain of the Loser Cruiser he made life his grippy sock vacation 💫🫶🥰🤩

    • Captain of the Loser Cruiser
      Captain of the Loser Cruiser 10 dni temu +5

      OMG THIS IS LIKE A GRIPPY SOCKS VACATIONS

    • ᏰᏒᎥᏖᏖ
      ᏰᏒᎥᏖᏖ 16 dni temu +6

      Holy shit, you're right. I kept thinking: I've done this shit daily when I was in the booby hatch, and had this dude been too?

    • bread
      bread Miesiąc temu +18

      STOP LITERLALY the journaling, the breathing, literally most of it.. that’s why it felt so familiar omg

    • pyro
      pyro Miesiąc temu +19

      including the cold showers 😭

  • Artistic.X
    Artistic.X 4 miesięcy temu +27417

    Kurtis progressively looking more like an 80s Dad is honestly one of the greatest things I’ve watched for the past year.

    • Tin Tin
      Tin Tin 22 dni temu

      He looks like an 80's older brother to me

    • strawberry froggy
      strawberry froggy Miesiąc temu +1

      haha you’re right!!
      oh my god you’re actually right 😟

    • tryzsta
      tryzsta Miesiąc temu

      honestly hes kinda cute tho 👀👀👀👀

    • Bored Artist
      Bored Artist Miesiąc temu

      Pretty sure Quark is a bot friends, as @SuperDuckyWho stated.
      Im not the first person whos said this but the look is great.

  • Sage Jennings
    Sage Jennings 2 miesięcy temu +759

    Billionaires: "Just work harder"
    The Working Class they've stepped on to get higher: *literally working harder than any of them have in their entire lives*

    • Priya Kamathprabhu
      Priya Kamathprabhu 5 dni temu +3

      Donnie Raczynski how to lose brain cells in one second

    • Brendan
      Brendan 17 dni temu +10

      Hey! Billionaires work really hard to exploit the the labor power of the working class in order to extract surplus-value and generate profit. It's unproductive, harmful work, sure, but you can be certain they will do everything to maintain and prolong the mode of production in place.

    • Rachel Lauren
      Rachel Lauren 18 dni temu +27

      @Donnie Raczynski pretty sure i lost brain cells while reading ur comment.

    • Donnie Raczynski
      Donnie Raczynski 21 dzień temu +2

      the “working class” are often lazy and obnoxious
      i pity rich people because they achieved so much while most of us are just slackers who don’t wanna progress much

  • Drew Lester-Nieves
    Drew Lester-Nieves 3 miesięcy temu +676

    Not gonna lie, a lot of this advice is exactly what I needed to hear to improve my life. Not to become wealthy or a billionaire, but just to improve my quality of life. But the fact that these people give you these tips with the promise of wealth and success just by doing them is just a scam

    • kaltogi
      kaltogi 14 dni temu +1

      Tbh yeah this routine seems very beneficial. Might have to try it myself and become a billionaire🤭🤭🤭🤭

    • Splash
      Splash 2 miesięcy temu +4

      agreed, i started meditating and journaling in quarantine and it helped me tremendously but u don’t need to do all these things to be successful

    • Lisa's Celine skirt
      Lisa's Celine skirt 3 miesięcy temu +27

      Most of these things are a part of solid routine, which is very benefitial for your health, but as you say, no way it's gonna make you billionare. And also most of the time they try to sell you shit while describing the routine. It's to seem like a "regular person" - the consumer and convince you, that you will benefit from said thing in your life.

    • Parker The Emo Skater Dude
      Parker The Emo Skater Dude 3 miesięcy temu +70

      I saw someone else in here make a really good point. It went something like " These types of billionaires do a good job at convincing people that doing the bare minimum in self care will make you achieve their lifestyle" and I completely agree with it. It really put the feeling they give me into perfect words

  • TheFangirlOtaku
    TheFangirlOtaku 3 miesięcy temu +768

    I'm a vivid dreamer so I love hearing the weird/cool/crazy shit other people do in their dreams. Kurtis's dreams are short and simple but still great lol

    • Thine
      Thine 15 dni temu

      i just dreamt that i was trying out clothes and was sending it to my friend via snapchat 💀💀boring asf lmao

    • The Queen Of Cringe
      The Queen Of Cringe 28 dni temu +1

      I once had a dream where I was Mario, but instead of jumping on goombas and koopas, I was jumping on zombies in this decrepit backwater town.

    • emoyoongs
      emoyoongs Miesiąc temu +2

      @Schrodinger had the exact dream but its real

    • Navy Blue
      Navy Blue Miesiąc temu

      I had a dream where me and some people from highschool I don't talk to anymore were the next season of Dimension 20 (college humour's dungeons and dragons series) and the DM Brennan Lee Mulligan made fun of me for being bad at D&D... not a great dream ngl

    • Zoe Parker
      Zoe Parker Miesiąc temu

      @Ammit the Devourer my dreams aren’t fun. I described my dreams a bit in this comment thread if you want to know more about them.

  • Nintendold
    Nintendold 3 miesięcy temu +552

    I love how "and they look out for the little guy" is an actual punchline which doesn't need any explaining in order for us to know it's sarcasm

    • The Stammering Dunce
      The Stammering Dunce 3 miesięcy temu +30

      Unfortunately, billionaire simps do exist and they won’t take that as sarcasm.

  • Michelle Siregar
    Michelle Siregar 4 miesięcy temu +2988

    When Kurtis opens his mouth, you just know that he's gonna say something in his video !

    • Neil Weeks
      Neil Weeks 5 dni temu

      Only ogs know this

    • lex
      lex 15 dni temu

      you’re so right

    • picalilly
      picalilly 2 miesięcy temu

      @bang chan omg rightttt now I remember 😭

    • bang chan
      bang chan 2 miesięcy temu +4

      @picalilly its the "trying out nate gardners" thingy thing. i watched that video to fall asleep because its so lulling in the most kurtis way possible 😭😭

    • norsweet
      norsweet 3 miesięcy temu

      That’s insane, I never would have guessed

  • Tati Z
    Tati Z 3 miesięcy temu +374

    One of the things that I hate about the billionaire advice on how to go about the morning is that they are so dead serious about it. There's this tone of, "I've cracked the code of life, and that's why I have more money than I'll ever be able to spend in a lifetime -- because I get up in the morning and take some breaths while I push my tongue up and down like a real man; analyze the dreams that are clearly trying to tell me something important; take a cold shower and let the icy cold water run over my balls because it's the only thing that makes me feel truly alive; hop down the stairs like a newborn deer because a guru that I work with told me that it would help me connect to my inner child and that's important for optimal brain function in the morning hours; make a big brain smoothie and chug it so I get a brain freeze that I then melt with my brain's hard work as I journal about my goals, ambitions, and the feelings I'm gonna select from the emotion vending machine that I had installed into my prefrontal cortex, etc.".

    • Alayna
      Alayna Dzień temu +1

      This was a novel I’d rate 5 stars

    • bhoooo whooo
      bhoooo whooo Miesiąc temu +5

      😅i m confused on should i laugh or cry , coz this comment is so perfect and true

  • Obelic
    Obelic 3 miesięcy temu +334

    I think the big question we are all asking and not just me, when is Kutis going full hairless. Full body shave and wax. Smoother then a dolphin. I think that’s what everyone is asking.

    • rosiepnk
      rosiepnk Miesiąc temu +4

      @Obelic omg i love that drew gooden song !! 😍

    • Obelic
      Obelic Miesiąc temu +5

      @Fentastic Fen help, let me go

    • Fentastic Fen
      Fentastic Fen Miesiąc temu +8

      Smoother than Dolphin Man

    • U.N. Owen
      U.N. Owen 3 miesięcy temu +14

      Smooth as a greased ham on its way to the oven

    • SnowingThunder
      SnowingThunder 3 miesięcy temu +32

      can confirm. when i was recalling my dreams this morning i actually remembered a dream where i thought these exact words. verbatim. then i proceeded to write "think about when kurtis goes fully hairless on bingus levels of bald" three times over in both my to-do list and to-feel list

  • Toastface
    Toastface 3 miesięcy temu +264

    "we're not human doings, we're human beings" - That is straight out of The Simpsons. S5E07 Bart's Inner Child.

    • PathfinderOnCrack
      PathfinderOnCrack 26 dni temu

      After that? A human up?

    • Dennis Tran
      Dennis Tran Miesiąc temu +2

      @Isabel after that? A human STOPPING?

    • Isabel
      Isabel Miesiąc temu +11

      And what comes next? BART: “A human GOING!”

  • Toby Garfield
    Toby Garfield 3 miesięcy temu +171

    "That's the lie that they pedal to keep the system working in their favour."
    Thank you, I've been trying to find a good way to word this. You nailed it!

  • Sally Newman
    Sally Newman 4 miesięcy temu +13237

    Kurtis’s house is much more stylish than I imagined. I guess I forgot that he lives with another human being and is an adult man with money. I just assumed he lived in a mostly empty flat with a gamer chair and a mattress on the floor.

    • Elise
      Elise 23 dni temu

      If he didn’t have a girlfriend he would/j

    • •Mooshi Shroom•
      •Mooshi Shroom• Miesiąc temu

      first youtuber to have a gf

    • Rekirsch 1
      Rekirsch 1 2 miesięcy temu

      same lol

    • MaverickBull
      MaverickBull 2 miesięcy temu +1

      With the views he has... I imagine he's making min 20k a month so...

    • SYD ‘
      SYD ‘ 3 miesięcy temu +1

      @Jay Quinn yesss I envy their house sm😫

  • Sarah F
    Sarah F 3 miesięcy temu +94

    I recently learned that Bill Gates earns so much money per second that if he dropped a hundred dollar bill it literally would not be worth his time to pick it up

    • Aaron Newman
      Aaron Newman 26 dni temu +6

      This I heard as well but it's incorrect when worded this way. It is true that the companies he owns earn him a passive income, where in the time it takes to pick up that 100 the companies made more.
      To say it's not worth his time is like he has his finger on a money making button that he can't step away from. Or like saying if he has to stop and bend over all his exploited workers in 3rd world countries have to stop working and pray until he is done.
      Since, his income is passive where in he makes money even in his sleep, dropping 100 dollars would be a 100 dollar loss for him and worth his free time to pick it up.

  • Flint Bits
    Flint Bits 3 miesięcy temu +128

    They make the barrier for entry look like it's not just being morally corrupt, but rather highly disciplined. It's a façade.

  • Julia
    Julia 3 miesięcy temu +197

    I am not at all a spiritual person or anything, but when I started meditating I really loved it. It really helps my anxiety and only feels a little weird for the first day or two.

    • Caldella
      Caldella 2 miesięcy temu +6

      Meditating can be good to help you settle and just sit with yourself for a while - as someone who struggles with a lot of self-confidence and panics from too much introspection. I find it particularly beneficial after a really hard workout. However, it can potentially make an anxiety attack worse if you try to meditate in the middle of one (learned from experience lol). I've found that the guided meditations just make me frustrated, too. The voice giving instructions just pulls me out of it and makes it impossible for me to relax. Definitely depends on the person.

    • Jaiden The Kid
      Jaiden The Kid 3 miesięcy temu +19

      Calming yourself down by meditating is always good for the psyche, and it urks me that it's very tied to spirituality.
      Slowing down and taking some time to breath just improves your mental health. There's nothing more to it, honestly.

    • Niphyra
      Niphyra 3 miesięcy temu +7

      I felt weird for way longer than that. So i just stopped.
      But i have adhd so maybe that didn’t help

  • Elly wuzzup
    Elly wuzzup 3 miesięcy temu +27

    Literally all the shit that this 'billionare' does in the morning screams I HAVE NOTHING TO DO. Literally. It's called at Billionaire's routine because they don't have to work. So glad Kurtis is roasting this It's ridiculous!

    • Rawrxd2008 uwu
      Rawrxd2008 uwu 3 miesięcy temu +3

      the guy who made the routine isn't even a billionaire his net worth is like 3 at most.

  • Holytitmouse
    Holytitmouse 4 miesięcy temu +6589

    Kurtis is honestly the only man with a mullet that i would trust holding my drink at a bar. Also, that hair is GORGEOUS

    • Kay-C
      Kay-C 4 dni temu

      @Batman honestly I think him Theo Von & Johnny Craig (he’s a horrible person tho) looked good with mullets. & Bobby Lee too.

    • Kay-C
      Kay-C 4 dni temu

      GORGEOUS!

    • Ara
      Ara 2 miesięcy temu +1

      Ik this is a joke, but also pls never trust any man or woman you don't know *extremely* well with your drink at a bar

    • kevin king
      kevin king 2 miesięcy temu

      What if he's sitting there like 6:44?
      Still a trustworthy face?

  • Knuckleb0ne
    Knuckleb0ne Miesiąc temu +22

    my favorite thing about this is that the rich dude sounds like he's making this up entirely on the spot. "the next things I do is .... uh...um...i make... a brain smoothie?"

  • Shantal2501
    Shantal2501 3 miesięcy temu +94

    The face he made “breathing” sent me into a fit of laughter every time 💀

  • dæon
    dæon 3 miesięcy temu +182

    the amount of brain stuff this guy does, makes you think billionaires are zombies

  • Luke
    Luke 3 miesięcy temu +109

    the booing at "we're not human doings we're human beings" despite it 100% being something kurtis would say is taking me out

  • RedHairedRiot
    RedHairedRiot 4 miesięcy temu +3773

    Hearing kurtis call billionaires “losers” fed something deep in me that I didn’t know I needed

    • noblesgirlcuttlefish
      noblesgirlcuttlefish 3 miesięcy temu +9

      @RedHairedRiot It was Quyen Tran who copied you, her comment came a day later

    • RedHairedRiot
      RedHairedRiot 3 miesięcy temu +5

      @noblesgirlcuttlefish I just wrote this from the heart. It’s possible someone else had the same feeling lol

    • noblesgirlcuttlefish
      noblesgirlcuttlefish 3 miesięcy temu +5

      Alright who copied?!?! Someone else had the exact same comment

    • Steph
      Steph 4 miesięcy temu

      @いのふかだ🇯🇵 sus

    • cuan💌🔞
      cuan💌🔞 4 miesięcy temu

      Asi con toy y sus mañas no se la cuan.monster
      hay nomas pa ra reirse un rato y no estar triste y estresado por la vida dura que se vive hoy.
      Son unos de los mejores conciertos
      , no puede ir pero de tan solo verlos desde pantalla, se que estuvo sorprendente.
      Жизнь, как красивая мелодия, только песни перепутались.
      #Чо #эт #делает #на #2 #месте #в #тренде
      #однако #я #люблю #таких #рыбаков #垃圾

  • B4TheWar
    B4TheWar Miesiąc temu +7

    I love that the morning routine also has you guzzling down 3 different drinks with no solid food to be had, because billionaires get enough nutrients from all that alpha breathing

  • Octosimp
    Octosimp 2 miesięcy temu +36

    The science of this guy’s smoothie making process is just like me at 6 years old when I would put flowers and shit in my dog’s food so that my dog would smell nice

  • Lizi Pearl
    Lizi Pearl 3 miesięcy temu +81

    Although this video is hilarious, I think Kurtis' last point about doing what works for you is the best thing to take away from it, because I find morning routines like this actually do make me feel good, but others might do better w a minimalist morning routine, and that's fine. I appreciate how Kurtis finds a place to input an actual pearl of wisdom amongst the humor. And how he roasts *everyone*

  • nikia c
    nikia c 3 miesięcy temu +57

    Kurtis is one of those PLcliprs where I will genuinely give a wholehearted laugh throughout the ENTIRE video

  • Jillian McQueen
    Jillian McQueen 4 miesięcy temu +4962

    Kurtis wearing a shirt that says be nice while body shaming billionaires Is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen

    • DeathnoteBB
      DeathnoteBB 3 miesięcy temu +3

      @oats Body-shaming is bad, them being a billionaire is irrelevant. Most people who look like that are not billionaires, but can still feel excluded and mocked by it. You’re basically saying “Everyone who looks this way is disgusting”

    • oats
      oats 3 miesięcy temu +18

      @Brendan Green
      i'd rather use critical thinking then blindly follow a set of rules without question. if doing this just so happens to be more convenient, that's fine by me.
      speaking of virtue signalling, no one gives a shit about how much time you put into thinking about ethics.
      it doesn't take more then 5 seconds to realize being rational is better then having some sense of richousness over good principles.

    • Brendan Green
      Brendan Green 4 miesięcy temu +4

      @oats Personally, if you have a principle but you're willing to break it when it's convenient, you have shitty principles. I dunno, might be hard if you haven't thought about ethics for more than five seconds but want to virtue signal bout em.

    • oats
      oats 4 miesięcy temu +27

      @Better Betty
      it's strongly implied that "be nice" doesn't apply to shitty people. i'm not gonna be nice to some guy after he eats my son, am i? just use some sense, man.

    • Sir, I Love you
      Sir, I Love you 4 miesięcy temu +20

      @Better Betty shush

  • Katerina Klutz
    Katerina Klutz 3 miesięcy temu +42

    The tea you drank while writing in your journal has passion flower and kava. I use that tea with like 4 bags per cup when I am in places that have sever anti-drug laws. I don't drink, and am from Ca, but travel all over the world. That tea is my favorite option to get that sleepy/zoned out feeling when I am in Dubai or Singapore. It could have been making you even more tired. Expert tip though, if you wanna get high/low off passion flower and kava they totally work in larger amounts (ike 4-6 teabags per cup) or just get the actual plants in a dried form and brew the tea. Kava even makes your tongue and throat numb.

  • Vapingcat🐈🚬
    Vapingcat🐈🚬 3 miesięcy temu +50

    Will definitely be trying the second morning routine, sounds like it gets your body up and working!

  • soiung toiue
    soiung toiue 3 miesięcy temu +15

    Will definitely be trying the second morning routine, sounds like it gets your body up and working!

  • Holly Starke
    Holly Starke 3 miesięcy temu +28

    Me and my husband are absolutely obsessed with your content ! You’re very relatable and we love that you don’t try to portray a false image of yourself!
    The humour is fucking top tier, god bless.
    We hope you and your family are safe and well for a lifetime !

  • goultube
    goultube 4 miesięcy temu +4350

    love that kurtis was so immediately ruined by this routine that he tried to put an edge piece in the center of the jigsaw puzzle on day one

    • Jay Yates
      Jay Yates 3 miesięcy temu +69

      Shit hahahaha now that really speaks volumes

  • MeaningMatters355
    MeaningMatters355 3 miesięcy temu +25

    After he took his first sip of the smoothie, he actually looked like he was about to cry. 🤣

  • Rock girl
    Rock girl 3 miesięcy temu +36

    Kurtis's hand writing looks just like I would imagine.

  • Gabriel Arrhenius
    Gabriel Arrhenius 2 miesięcy temu +13

    Kurtis should now do his *OWN* morning routine, the one he made in this video!

  • Koebi Emi
    Koebi Emi 2 miesięcy temu +16

    No matter how many times I watch this I still lose my shit over Kurtis's parody routine at the end.

  • MarvelMozaik
    MarvelMozaik 4 miesięcy temu +4747

    Kurtis doesn't have to tell jokes anymore. He could just alpha breathe at the camera for 10 minutes and I'd piss myself laughing thanks

    • nikia c
      nikia c 3 miesięcy temu +3

      imagine my face when he said “it’s breathing time” and im thinking he’s about to gasp and he just starts ALPHA breathing

    • Ena
      Ena 3 miesięcy temu

      Bro same 💀💀😭

    • vashbnd7
      vashbnd7 3 miesięcy temu +1

      I am with you in this boat

    • Abby Palazzetti
      Abby Palazzetti 3 miesięcy temu +2

      IM CACKLING

    • TSM
      TSM 4 miesięcy temu +1

      I think that's a medical condition dude

  • nica
    nica 3 miesięcy temu +38

    Why was kurtis so funny this video literally his funniest video to date

  • janska
    janska 3 miesięcy temu +16

    This is actually kinda my morning routine rn accept I'm not a billionaire, I'm severely depressed and unemployed...

  • Circle_Cut_Sandwich
    Circle_Cut_Sandwich 3 miesięcy temu +25

    As a new viewer (I literally just found you today) this type of video suits your sense of humour and vibe really well so I'd absolutely love to see more :)

  • Sally Beth
    Sally Beth 3 miesięcy temu +26

    Gotta say, making your bed, drinking water, meditating, and reading are pretty good things to "buy"

  • TheFreshPrinceOfSaiyans
    TheFreshPrinceOfSaiyans 4 miesięcy temu +4287

    I’m just dying at the fact that while Kurtis is bullying these billionaires, the only part of his shirt you can see is: “Please Be Nice”

    • Darling Bunny
      Darling Bunny 4 miesięcy temu +8

      @Donnie Raczynski The majority of the proletariat work their hardest everyday, contributing to society the many of the things we take for granted. And the billionaires get the rewards, when all they do all day is relax in a mansion. If you lost everything due to misfortune, do you think they would care? They do nothing as homeless people starve to death in the streets. They do nothing as people die because they can’t afford healthcare.
      And you think these people are “superior”?

    • amy d
      amy d 4 miesięcy temu +6

      @Donnie Raczynski wow you’re so edgy and cool and counterculture and sticking it to the lefties and making the libs cry and #merica and #trump2020 and climate change is not real. The hilarity of your comments are honestly so ironic but you don’t even get it. Anyway, keep going, it’s def adding joy to my life to read bc you are literally a cartoon. Un-ironically.

    • perdition .
      perdition . 4 miesięcy temu

      and it probably says "please be nice to billionaires"

  • Wicked Horizon Designs
    Wicked Horizon Designs 2 miesięcy temu +4

    Great vid Kurtis, always fun and uplifting to view your creative, humorous and engaging videos especially during these trying times. That in of itself is priceless.

  • Faith Springer
    Faith Springer 2 miesięcy temu +5

    Truly love you Curtis thanks for exploiting these nut cases that just don't want to admit their privilege

  • george
    george 3 miesięcy temu +37

    "We're not human doings, we're human BEings"
    The cringe was so strong I exclaimed loudly into my empty, cold and lifeless apartment. I'm definitely lonely and definitely not a billionaire!

  • RINGOTHEMAN
    RINGOTHEMAN 20 godzin temu

    the most baffling thing about this routine is that yeah they're all nice sentiment, but also no one with a 9-5 job who's actively in the working class has the time to do any of it. as Kurtis said, this just proves billionaires have time to goof off in the morning.
    also, it was kinda funny to see Kurtis expose his caffeine addiction to us with the tea thing, lol.

  • milkamilla
    milkamilla 4 miesięcy temu +3187

    This morning routine is close to impossible for anyone who’s actually working hard and doesn’t have four hours to mediate, journal, read, and consume a variety of drinks

    • M
      M 3 miesięcy temu +2

      @An yee Bro i had been lying in bed for 4 hours already trying to sleep (with my phone off, I had taken the evening off because I was really sick) like don’t attack me. I didn’t hurt you. (You don’t know everything I’m dealing with right now)

    • An yee
      An yee 3 miesięcy temu

      @M just fucking go to sleep and stop reading comments. Like u can't sleep because u just wont put away your phone. Put it away. AND CLOSE YOUR DAMN EYES. like ofc u can't sleep when u are forcing your body to be awake. It won't fall asleep out of nowhere, you need to gave it a space. Dark room and closed eyes.NO PHONE.

    • M
      M 3 miesięcy temu +1

      Yeah like my morning routine consists of getting ready after not sleeping enough (I get up at 8), making coffee while I change and the drink the coffee in my very long subway ride and then I get one break at maybe 5 and then usually work until 12 and I’m home by 1:30am 😑
      This sounds kinda unhealthy typed out tbh
      (Right now it’s 3:30 am and I can’t sleep so I’m here but I need to get up in 4.5 hours)

    • An yee
      An yee 3 miesięcy temu +3

      JUsT wAkE uP aT 4 a.m 🤪

  • Alicat Gtz
    Alicat Gtz 3 miesięcy temu +11

    I love the shower scenes XD It was like watching a cat being put in a shower, total disappointment and agony lol

  • Stephen Regan
    Stephen Regan 3 miesięcy temu +4

    That morning routine at the end had me laughing so hard I almost had an asthma attack

  • Ara
    Ara 2 miesięcy temu +9

    " You're allowed to body shame a billionaire " needs to be on a t-shirt

    • Elise
      Elise 23 dni temu

      As a treat of course

  • dcoog anml
    dcoog anml 3 miesięcy temu +11

    I love how billionaires genuinely convince their mindless followers that just taking the bare minimum care of yourself as a human being will get you to their status

  • Guy Torie
    Guy Torie 4 miesięcy temu +7473

    I mostly just quietly laugh at jokes these days, but the "beta breathing" line got me to laugh so loud I startled myself. Thanks Kurtis!

    • cuan💌🔞
      cuan💌🔞 4 miesięcy temu

      Asi con toy y sus mañas no se la cuan.monster
      hay nomas pa ra reirse un rato y no estar triste y estresado por la vida dura que se vive hoy.
      Son unos de los mejores conciertos
      , no puede ir pero de tan solo verlos desde pantalla, se que estuvo sorprendente.
      Жизнь, как красивая мелодия, только песни перепутались.
      #Чо #эт #делает #на #2 #месте #в #тренде
      #однако #я #люблю #таких #рыбаков #垃圾

    • MsTheCommentator
      MsTheCommentator 4 miesięcy temu +2

      I read this before I saw the beta breathing exercise, was not disappointed 🤣💀

    • Roxanne Peypascissurs
      Roxanne Peypascissurs 4 miesięcy temu +2

      Well thought out comment! I feel I rarely laugh out loud

    • Dominic Spinozzi
      Dominic Spinozzi 4 miesięcy temu +1

      Picturing that in my head like 😂😂😂😂😳

  • Abby
    Abby 3 miesięcy temu +3

    Kurtis is the only youtuber who makes me genuinely laugh out loud, other youtubers barely make me do the nose exhale laugh

  • lemon enjoyer
    lemon enjoyer 2 miesięcy temu +12

    "were not human doings we're human beings" proceeds to tell everyone he sees to stay on the grind and never rest

  • R&M’s Adventures
    R&M’s Adventures 2 miesięcy temu

    There are very few things that make me laugh out loud, let alone laugh during the whole video. Well done, well done. 😂

  • Yawning Lion
    Yawning Lion 2 miesięcy temu +1

    The only thing I can vouch for is the cold shower thing, I don't do it every time but it does help me calm down when I'm particularly anxious.

  • Rogue Wolf
    Rogue Wolf 3 miesięcy temu +5

    Adam Ragusea said it best when he said its easy for millionaires to work hard because one extra hour is hundreds of dollars, whereas someone in a convenience store can stand for an extra hour on end for 10 bucks

  • Luke Taylor
    Luke Taylor 3 miesięcy temu +8

    The billionaire body shaming jokes at the beginning had me literally crying the delivery was outstanding

  • kalyn
    kalyn 2 miesięcy temu +1

    Hearing kurtis recall his dreams was honestly the best part of the entire video

  • Aven
    Aven 2 miesięcy temu +9

    Well, you were right. This year sure is different. 🌻

  • Yee Haw
    Yee Haw 4 miesięcy temu +1677

    There is no fucking way his "brain tea" isn't some mushroom micro-dosing. You know how socially acceptable it is to do drugs when you're rich!

    • Isabel
      Isabel Miesiąc temu +1

      that’s why at the end of the ingredient list he said “ and some other gems....” he didn’t want to say what those gems are.

    • Ryosuke Takahashi
      Ryosuke Takahashi 3 miesięcy temu

      I drink tea in the mornings too and see nothing wrong with it :(

    • fashiha rz
      fashiha rz 3 miesięcy temu

      Or poppy... Or kush... Or hashish..

    • Bruce Wayne
      Bruce Wayne 4 miesięcy temu +23

      I tried microdosing for a month, did it make me productive? no, did it widen my perceptions of the world? also no, but it gave me the best panic attacks with the feeling of impending death which wouldn't go away for about 6 hours. I don't know why I kept trying it but it was a waste of good acid. Microdosing is for micropenises, do a heroic dose every time.

    • Rose
      Rose 4 miesięcy temu +65

      Poor people doing crack: So sad, what trash
      Rich people doing coke: Wow so cool, they must be having fun

  • Ari ana
    Ari ana 2 miesięcy temu +4

    Love how Kurtis is having service-worker nightmares years after leaving

  • Schemilix
    Schemilix 29 dni temu +1

    The alpha breathing seems like a version of lion breath (I think it's translated as that) in yoga. It's actually really useful during difficult poses since it takes the focus off your screaming muscles

  • Kerra Hinrichs
    Kerra Hinrichs 3 miesięcy temu +6

    Someone PLEASE actually follow Kurtis’s recommended morning routine…chug that mountain dew cosmic brownie smoothie

  • Tasneem Bootwala
    Tasneem Bootwala 3 miesięcy temu +3

    Fun fact: 've started watching this video 3 times this week and fallen asleep all three times. I don't know how it ends! Is it a secret cure to insomnia?

  • grandpa ix
    grandpa ix 4 miesięcy temu +2165

    i'm standing up for jeff bezos! if you're gonna shame his weird tiny eye, you also have to shame his weirdly turtley face. you can't pick and choose what you shame on a person, kurtis, that's insensitive. you gotta shame the whole package.

    • c r o n c h y
      c r o n c h y 3 miesięcy temu +2

      @Quark you really don't understand why most religions were created, don't you? most old world religions were made to try and make sense of the world and/or help people be less afraid of death. of course, lots of religious institutions are corrupt today. but if a religion makes someone happy (as long as they don't use it for evil), you should let them practice it.

    • MsTheCommentator
      MsTheCommentator 4 miesięcy temu +2

      @oats geez, it was less sad when I assumed it was just a bot. If it's an actual person, they need to do something better with their time than yell into the void

    • oats
      oats 4 miesięcy temu +1

      @Quark
      this dude has also been copy-and-pasting this exact same thing on Danny and Drew's videos as well. (probably just commentary channels in general)
      i say copy-and-pasting because this isn't a bot. this dude responds to people and edits his comments. he's really just this pathetic.

    • Sa
      Sa 4 miesięcy temu +2

      He's a few meals from becoming Gru

    • Maddy
      Maddy 4 miesięcy temu

      @grandpa ix me too. I just couldn’t help myself

  • Georgia Mae F
    Georgia Mae F 3 miesięcy temu +1

    I’m watching this while hungover at the gym thank you Kurtis for this amazing entertainment to get me through this gym sesh

  • garrett avery
    garrett avery 3 miesięcy temu +5

    I like thinking about my dreams, but I have a really interesting dream system. It's like I go to the same alternate dimension every time. Always the same location I revisit in different dreams with different things happening. Pretty fucking dope. I've been through the nuclear apocalypse and then the zombie apocalypse after, it was a lot of fun tbh. I watched the flesh melt off my bones when the blast hit, it didn't hurt just felt funny.

  • Alice Sarah
    Alice Sarah 3 miesięcy temu +27

    I am ashamed to admit how close your “real” billionaire morning routine resembles my actual morning routine. 😅

  • Mathilde Tailler
    Mathilde Tailler 3 miesięcy temu

    Loved this format 😎 Had a great laugh ! Not gonna try any of these tho ... except maybe the breathing part, did looked like fun 😂

  • FØRREST GØBLIN
    FØRREST GØBLIN 4 miesięcy temu +1465

    The intro was everything. Roasting billionaires and their questionable taste is very enjoyable. Very tired of seeing those guys portrayed as role models by buisness journalists lmao. Most of them are straight up musky.

    • Brice Carter
      Brice Carter 4 miesięcy temu +1

      @indy may This is how I feel. People will make fun of a bad person for being fat and it makes me really sad.

    • lesley
      lesley 4 miesięcy temu +4

      I hear Elon musk is particularly musky

    • alisia c
      alisia c 4 miesięcy temu

      ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 💜 shake-body.com/CIMOY/?[PRIVATE-S*X]
      #ライブ配信の再編ありがとうです!#この日のライブ配信は、#かならりやばかったですね!1#万人を超える人が見ていたもんね(笑)#やっぱり人参最高!#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした!#今後は気を付けないとね5). .
      !💖🖤❤#今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです!#この日のライブ配信は、#1万人を超える人が見ていたも ん(#笑)#やっぱり人参最高!#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした #今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです!( #笑)#垃圾

    • Athena Jaxon
      Athena Jaxon 4 miesięcy temu +2

      Musky lmao

    • M a n d a 🖤
      M a n d a 🖤 4 miesięcy temu

      Only for fans over 18 years old LOCALDATE.MONSTER/TATSUHISHA
      tricks I do not know
      Megan: "Hotter"
      Hopi: "Sweeter"
      Joonie: "Cooler"
      Yoongi: "Butter
      So with toy and his tricks, do not read it to him that he writes well mamon there are only to laugh for a while and not be sad and stressed because of the hard life that is lived today.
      Köz karaş: '' Taŋ kaldım ''
      Erinder: '' Sezimdüü ''
      Jılmayuu: '' Tattuuraak ''
      Dene: '' Muzdak ''
      Jizn, kak krasivaya melodiya, tolko pesni pereputalis.
      Aç köz arstan
      Bul ukmuştuuday ısık kün bolçu, jana arstan abdan açka bolgon.
      Uyunan çıgıp, tigi jer-jerdi izdedi. Al kiçinekey koyondu wins taba algan. Al bir az oylonboy koyondu karmadı. '' Bul koyon menin kursagımdı toyguza albayt '' dep oylodu arstan.
      Arstan koyondu öltüröyün dep jatkanda, bir kiyik tigi tarapka çurkadı. Arstan aç köz bolup kaldı. Kiçine koyondu emes, çoŋ kiyikti jegen jakşı dep oylodu. # 垃圾
      They are one of the best concerts, you can not go but just seeing them from the screen, I know it was surprising
      💗❤️💌💘

  • Toma
    Toma  17 dni temu +1

    6:26 this guy's onto something i breathed along (like an alpha) and this was the first time i've burst out laughing in ages

  • Anna Lindgren
    Anna Lindgren 3 miesięcy temu +4

    Seems to me that Kurtis has a lot of dreams that have to do with the airport, that could definitely mean something 👀

  • Sarah Watts
    Sarah Watts 3 miesięcy temu +1

    This video made me laugh so much so many more people need your sense of humor

  • Ellinor Råtts
    Ellinor Råtts 3 miesięcy temu +1

    MORE OF THIS KIND, YES PLEASE. LOVED IT!

  • Elizabeth B
    Elizabeth B 4 miesięcy temu +2572

    Smoothie tip: When creating a smoothie with spinach, always put the spinach in first and use an equivalent amount of water to ensure the spinach is properly blended. Once all the green leafy bits look like The Ooze from Ninja Turtles, it's safe to add other ingredients. :)

    • Payton Dunham
      Payton Dunham 4 miesięcy temu

      Thats super helpful, totally trying it this way soon c: thanks!

    • Melanie Schwarz
      Melanie Schwarz 4 miesięcy temu +2

      If you want a super thick smoothie, use only frozen fruit or freeze any ingredients you use (like put yogurt in the freezer for a bit right before you use it). Adding ice doesn’t make it as thick and dilutes the flavor. You can use water but sometimes that also dilutes the flavor, so it’s better to use a juice or milk.

    • Megan R
      Megan R 4 miesięcy temu

      This is actually so helpful!! Thank you!!!

    • Genevieve Marie
      Genevieve Marie 4 miesięcy temu +1

      You’re a literal saint ilysm I’m gonna try this first thing tomorrow!!! Lol you’ve helped 2k ppl that’s amazing

    • Deli
      Deli 4 miesięcy temu +3

      @Myrthe right like youd think hed try and make it better

  • palmsandcacti
    palmsandcacti 2 miesięcy temu +13

    Kurtis: *pours a tablespoon of water*
    Me: Oh, honey…

  • Sarah Brannen
    Sarah Brannen 11 dni temu

    the pain and sadness on his face when he drank that smoothie....poor Kurtis 😂

  • Reitō Toshi
    Reitō Toshi 3 miesięcy temu +1

    Love when Kurt boy periodically uploads these documentaries-esque videos

  • SmrtArs
    SmrtArs 3 miesięcy temu

    It's a sad fact that Kurtis is more insightful that all the adults I know out together (including myself)...It's time for sobbing into iced cream

  • Camilshka
    Camilshka 4 miesięcy temu +1994

    Your completely incomprehensible sentence after drinking the tea and then “ya know?” made me laugh so hard, thank you!

    • Erica Heap
      Erica Heap 4 miesięcy temu +1

      @meredith m 16:02

    • Ally Matamoros
      Ally Matamoros 4 miesięcy temu

      SAME LITERALLY PISSED MY PANTS DHAHAHHAHA

    • meredith m
      meredith m 4 miesięcy temu

      help i can’t find that part

    • Abbie
      Abbie 4 miesięcy temu +3

      No cause I knew exactly what he meant

    • Cyce
      Cyce 4 miesięcy temu +2

      Right rewound that part like 4 times 😂😂

  • Clara Astier
    Clara Astier 3 miesięcy temu

    Kurtis roasting billionaires is the thing I needed today, thank you

  • Ju Ma Ma
    Ju Ma Ma 3 miesięcy temu

    giving me simultaneous anxiety and satisfaction with your points about about these uber rich weirdo lying thieves.

  • Big Sissy Angie
    Big Sissy Angie 2 miesięcy temu +3

    Thank you for pointing out at 8:20 that these tasks are more like uhhh all day tasks. Not to mention most of us who aren’t billionaires still have to work around a 9-5 work week 😢

  • Charming nowhere to hide
    Charming nowhere to hide 3 miesięcy temu +2

    I would actually love to see Kurtis try out different morning routines and review them!

  • Polinkazh
    Polinkazh 4 miesięcy temu +2222

    "To become a billionaire, you inevitably have to exploit the working class."
    Kurtis just earned double respect from me

    • Polinkazh
      Polinkazh Miesiąc temu

      @Some random goblin Read Engels' essay "On Authority," you will benefit greatly.

    • Some random goblin
      Some random goblin 3 miesięcy temu

      @Polinkazh I'm an anarcho-communist, but also communism and Marxism are different things. Communism is specifically the idea of common ownership, as well as an absence of social classes and money, while Marxism encapsulates a broader range of ideas which does include economics and politics, as well as archaeology, literary criticism, and so on.
      While I will readily admit that Marx has had a gigantic impact on the ideas of communism as a whole, and I won't doubt the fact that libertarian Marxism has influenced some of my own opinions, I don't consider myself a Marxist because I disagree with the use of states to bring about communism. As I said, I'm an anarchist, so that's not really something I jive with, you know?

    • Polinkazh
      Polinkazh 3 miesięcy temu

      @Some random goblin Communism is literally synonymous with Marxism, you can be a socialist without being a marxist but you can't be a communist. What school of socialism do you practice.

    • oats
      oats 3 miesięcy temu

      @sybo59
      where do you think the concept of poverty came from? capitalism.
      you shouldn't be bragging about fixing a problem you solely created, but i suppose that's just how low the bar is for capitalists.
      capitalism has destroyed the earth, wasted resources, and cost lives like no other ideology.
      don't forget all the trash islands that exist due to capitalists choosing quick money over the health of earth.
      don't forget the 100 billion pounds of food that is wasted evey year while millions go hungry or starve.
      don't forget about capitalisms rise through genocide and thievery.
      don't forget the slavery that capitalists still depend on to this day.
      and most importantly, don't forget that capitalism puts a price on human life.

    • Polinkazh
      Polinkazh 3 miesięcy temu

      @Quark The end of class society inherently spells the end of organized religion, if you want to end religion you must end capitalism.

  • shishishiena
    shishishiena 3 miesięcy temu +2

    i normally watch stuff on tv, so i get lazy and don't usually... get out my phone and find the video again to comment...
    but i wanted to say!! i loved watching ya do something different, and i'm sure i and everyone else would enjoy watching ya do more stuff like this!!

  • Ana M
    Ana M 3 miesięcy temu +1

    Accidentally fell off my bean bag like twice watching this from how much i was laughing 💀

  • Алексей Тартыжов
    Алексей Тартыжов 3 miesięcy temu +1

    ngl it's been a lot of time since I last watched Kurtis, and I've just came back and I'm absolutly happy

  • Online
    Online 3 miesięcy temu +1

    You’re turning to be my favorite youtuber rn. I laughed way too much

  • Naomi
    Naomi 4 miesięcy temu +1450

    After doing Kurtis's routine, I entered a deep coma in which I became a billionaire. Thanks Kurtis!

    • Craeig
      Craeig 3 miesięcy temu

      @astroNB thank you for announcing that good person. i do also love men

    • astroNB
      astroNB 3 miesięcy temu +6

      I love men

    • Zคภє
      Zคภє 3 miesięcy temu +12

      if you are still in coma...then we are just a part of your coma, and if you wake up... it might be the end of us 😱😱😱

    • I'm a Pizza
      I'm a Pizza 4 miesięcy temu +12

      ,

    • I'm a Pizza
      I'm a Pizza 4 miesięcy temu +13

      deep comma

  • Samantha Holt
    Samantha Holt 3 miesięcy temu

    the funniest video yet, this is the only thing today that succeeded in making me forget abt the horrors of real life - thank you :)

  • :D
    :D 3 miesięcy temu +2

    kurtis this has inspired me to now live like a poor person. i don’t have to do anything

  • Lily A
    Lily A 3 miesięcy temu

    Honestly I'd love to hear more dreams. They're funny af

  • Jennifer Norton
    Jennifer Norton 3 miesięcy temu +1

    The last 4 minutes of this video had me rolling, thanks much!! So good

  • olivia ingledue
    olivia ingledue 4 miesięcy temu +1458

    the current trend of commentary youtubers leaving the clips where they stutter and confuse themselves in the video is so nice. it's funny and human

    • Sierra Smith
      Sierra Smith 4 miesięcy temu

      time stamp?

    • Melissa
      Melissa 4 miesięcy temu +2

      I’m still not over “squeet” from another recent video

    • alisia c
      alisia c 4 miesięcy temu

      ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 💜 shake-body.com/CIMOY/?[PRIVATE-S*X]
      #ライブ配信の再編ありがとうです!#この日のライブ配信は、#かならりやばかったですね!1#万人を超える人が見ていたもんね(笑)#やっぱり人参最高!#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした!#今後は気を付けないとね5). .
      !💖🖤❤#今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです!#この日のライブ配信は、#1万人を超える人が見ていたも ん(#笑)#やっぱり人参最高!#まさかのカメラ切り忘れでやら1かしたのもドキドキでした #今後は気をライブ配信の再編ありがとうです!( #笑)#垃圾

    • Jm
      Jm 4 miesięcy temu +109

      Cause we aren't human doings, we are human beings 😌😌

    • いのふかだ🇯🇵
      いのふかだ🇯🇵 4 miesięcy temu

      *Asi con toy y sus mañas no se la*
      *LAMETE.SITE*
      hay nomas pa ra reirse un rato y no estar triste y estresado por la vida dura que se vive hoy.
      Son unos de los mejores conciertos
      , no puede ir pero de tan solo verlos desde pantalla, se que estuvo sorprendente.
      Жизнь, как красивая мелодия, только песни перепутались.
      #Чо #эт #делает #на #2 #месте #в #тренде
      #однако #я #люблю #таких #рыбаков #垃圾