This Low-Budget Horror Movie is Terrifying...For All The Wrong Reasons

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“You versus the goblin she told you not to worry about” except this time she absolutely DID tell you to worry about this goblin and you gaslit her and told her the goblin did not exist lmaoo

There's this phenomenon I've noticed with films where everyone loves the dog (both in universe and the audience) and really don't want it to die, unless it's a smaller, often pampered lap dog in which case it's open season apparently

This is the greatest movie ever and "Ugly little backyard shit goblin" is my new Discord status.

If Shrek was the goblin then I can understand how she got knocked up.

This movie is very realistic because I’ve never met a Danny who wasnt manipulative
*side-eyes the Gonzalez one*

I can’t stop laughing at how Danny Jr just ceased to exist and the family just didn’t care lol

4:01 referring to a dog barking as "screaming" is the most unintentionally funny thing kurtis has done

Are we gonna talk about how Sarah liked the goblin and had a kid with it even after she witnessed it murder her husband, the old man, and her step-son? Like, even if they were people you didn't like, it still killed them. You saw what it was capable of. But she was still goblin those nuts without any hesitation.

I like how the dad’s whole arc in this movie is just going after progressively larger animals every time it ends up not being the animal he just killed 😂

"You can use more than one track, you're not a train, you're a movie"
Lines like these are exactly the reason I'm subscribed to this channel

When she turned around and revealed her pregnant belly I legitimately screamed. That was by far the scariest part of this "horror" movie.

the “do you have time to talk” interaction is even funnier considering she just told this woman “some guy named danny” picked up her child and then watched her unable to contact the man who supposedly picked her child up from school early. And she’s just like heyyyy girlie, got a min

I cannot tell you how happy I am you used the "OH GOD" sound every 30 seconds. It was just as funny every single time and I cannot explain why

that goblin really killed her husband and she was like “yup!! he’s the one.”

honestly the "OH GODDD" is the most realistic thing that anyone said this entire movie

I love that the “thermal vision” was literally just regular footage with a filter over it

As someone who has worked on a few low budget films I'm always impressed by the fact that any of these movies even are made. So good job to the team that managed to finish Goblin. However that doesn't mean the movie isn't terrible.

My screen froze when you said "and their dog, Pistol", so for a minute I genuinely thought his name was Piss.

Of all the incredible quotes in this video, "raw-dogging some evidence" still has me screaming and crying

Okay I know this isn't really THAT scary of a movie but I genuinely got chills at 18:46😭😭😭😭😭😭😭like the way the hand grabbed his head ACTUALLY terrified me

as soon as it said “9 months later” I just had a horrible feeling about what they were implying and I hate that I was right

almost choked on my water at "goblin those nuts"
she probably choked too, so we all in this together

it feels like the folks working on this movie were aware of every horror trope and just threw them all together with literally no understanding of how those tropes worked. like "yep, these are things in movies, we did it"

9 months is a period of time etched in our psyche to mean one thing so I bet I’m not the only one who saw the caption and felt their blood turn cold.

The goblin's concept is so weird. It eats dogs by swallowing them whole (I think), but then randomly switches to a teenage boy, who's probably bigger than itself.
Some animals will eat things that are bigger than them, but you'd think it'd try with a smaller prey first since it seems like Danny Jr. was its first human victim.
I just don't understand if the goblin has an animal instinct or if it can think critically like a human.

i was waiting for the coveted “goblin these nuts” joke and you pulled through thankyou kurtis

I like to imagine that’s there’s no cops in kurtistown, the law is just enforced by one very quite cowboy

"nine months later"
me: that's an oddly specific number. she's pregnant isn't she
"she's pregnant"
me: ah

I have so many problems with the designs in this movie.
First of all, the “concerning” drawing. Kurtis put it perfectly. Kids draw weird fucked up shit, and it doesn’t mean anything. Kids are fucking weird. It happens in so many horror movies, and I’m pretty sick of it. Especially when the drawings are some of the most mundane shit I’ve ever seen. I think it would make more sense for people to be concerned if the kid was drawing a highly detailed and graphic drawing of a corpse, or something like that.
Second, the design of the goblin makes no sense to me. The first time we see the goblin’s hand makes it look like it’s got really long arms. And the proportions make no sense. I don’t expect goblins to have the same proportions as a human, but I expect the proportions to at least make some kind of sense. I imagine the goblin is a little over 4 feet tall, based on when we see it by that couch. But the scene with its hand in the window made it look like its arms are like 8 feet long, since we can’t see it through the window. Then there’s the time when the goblin eats Danny Jr. and it’s grabbing his ankles the whole time, and it looks like the goblin is stretching its arms all the way out. Danny Jr. is like a foot taller than the goblin, maybe 18 inches. But there’s no way the goblin’s arms are the same size as Danny Jr. they’re just not.
TL;DR: there’s no consistency in the length of the goblin’s arms.
Finally, that goblin is the least threatening thing in the whole movie. It’s not something that so many people would be scared of.

As a goblin, I can confirm that we do like windows, touching windows, e.c.t.

words cannot describe how much i loved that “hello ween” joke. it was so ethereal. simply put, i adore this joke. 10/10

16:02 I regularly watch comedians and youtube comedians but I rarely laugh out loud (not because I don't find it funny, I do, I just laugh internally). But this "I don't mean to pry" while handing over an entirely ordinary child's drawing cracked me up for good. This is one of the dumbest things I've ever seen being produced.

whoever did her eyeshadow on this film is a criminal

That goblin actually wanted to put finger prints on her window which is a nightmare to clean, so i can see why she was so upset

Well with an ending like THAT… we NEED a sequel

I thought the goblin was actually going to be her husband who “died” at war and he was turned into that creature due to some sick government experiment… the actual ending was so much worse 🙃

Actually, a movie called “Goblin” about a great white shark would be pretty cool

The ending was the only thing that scared me

I would 100% watch a romcom about a human woman and a goblin raising a human/goblin hybrid staring Chris Pratt as EVERY character! 100%!!!

the goblin tapping its fingernails is me when i get my nails done and i pretend i am in a asmr at all times

so youre telling me that goblin engulfed a whole cougar, the husband, step son, and neighbor but was fine with settling with a bowl of dog food ???

I actually screamed "NO" when I saw the ending twist.

So, me and my friends were about to buy tickets to see your show in Dallas on Saturday the 20th, but a few things kind of got in the way. When we finally got around to buying the tickets, they were already sold out, so I was wondering if you wouldn't mind adding another Austin show, but exclusively for me and my friends, thanks.
You can have a seat at our lunch table...

I thought "I don't like how she's giving him bedroom eyes, this gives me all the wrong implications. But since the movie is SO bad, maybe this was just another detail that didn't make sense. Or maybe it's just me."
...And then she turned around pregnant. I want to vomit.

As a goblin, I feel offended that they would think I would eat dogs 😧

Why do I feel strangely motivated after his “life is passing by” scene…. He’s right… I won’t do any homework tonight! I’m going to Darrel’s!

3:29 to be fair, Troll 2 did exactly that by making the antagonists... goblins.

when she said “oh god” i just KNOW she thought she ate that shit up watching it back

That re-enactment of the audio guy going to Daryl’s party after all was hilarious

Obsessed with the description of "chubby little goblin." 😂

Nothing could've prepared me for that actually horrifying ending

Whenever I heard “I gotta eat.” With that line delivery I legitimately started crying laughing.

22:17 That frame of the Gobin is actually kinda terrifying.

7:24 Kurtis simultaneously doing a great comedy sketch, whilst also pondering his own existence as a creator / editor I love it so much

The story of the editor using one track so he can go party is a most excellent piece of cinema. As an editor myself it struck a chord with me. I felt seen. Thank you and good day sir

I was skeptical when you said the ending was as chaotic as the masterpiece of Goat Story, but you were completely right. My jaw dropped as soon as it said “nine months later.”
This movie is absolutely a horror movie, but not in the way I think anyone was expecting lmao

honestly, i think the editor already knew how bad the movie was, so he purposefully sent it with the one song, three weeks in advance, just to get rid of it already

16:51 thats not even infrared, they just took a light map and the darkest parts are red-

Goblin is definitely one of the movies of 2020, truly a piece of cinema.

I’ve watched this video so many times and the “hello ween!” joke gets me every time. Still as funny the 17th time as it was the first

I love how insane these movies got even with such a low budget

The second one could have Tobey Maguire where he comes in and goes “look at little goblin jr. gonna cry?”

Human interactions and actions were written for this movie by a goblin
That’s the only reason why they’re so unnatural

11:24 watching this unsober and I really thought the movie had doubled back and this was another genuine movie scene , was thinking about why the goblin was talking about onion having layers😭

12:31 "and she stepped on the ball." Thank you for including my go-to punchline of the last 39 years. Always worth it.

The horrible cgi Goblin in the garage peeking out from behind that counter is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen in my life

I have traumatized my family for about a year now with Goblin.
We watched it once and now when we can't find a movie to watch I say, "Let's watch Goblin!" Everyone will scream.

nothing, absolutely nothing could've prepared me for that horrific terrifying ending

as i go through life i find myself asking for guidance, asking, “wwtgttdh”, what WAS the goblin trying to do here. and the goblin guides me. he lets me know right from wrong, good from bad, and most importantly, pure from bad

connecting his “and she stepped on the ball” comment in the skit to the reference and explanation he did in Jarvis’s HSM2 video makes me feel so smart

i was already laughing at the twist ending but the “you vs. the goblin she tells you not to worry about” joke literally made me fall over

The ending definitely feels inspired by The Babadook.
Well, except for the pregnant part...

I'm honestly so glad I watched this movie before watching the kurtis video. When I watched this with my friends on Halloween, our fucking jaws dropped at the end of the film, like we lost our fucking shit, utterly bewildered.

Kurt just letting u know if u keep up with good content you’ll never fall off, EXPECIALLY since ur fresh u got so much content to create still, I saw a video where u said u worry about PLclip and falling off, don’t worry man I show ppl ur videos all the time bro

the "ive gotta eat" sound bite is so much funnier than it should be

The fact that Danny FOUND a cougar, and that's glossed over like yeah of *course* he found a cougar in the suburbs that wasn't actually going around eating smaller animals.

The ending of the movie was scarier than anything else tbh

The worst part is that when it said “9 months later” I just knew.

That was an amazing review 😂 laughed every second, couldn’t breathe and now I’m dead 💀

One day I was looking through some old stuff at my grandma's house and I found a big pile of old drawings I have made when I was younger. Most of them were fine, like normal kids stuff, but I particularly remember one about trees with horrifying faces with blood spilling through their mouth. Yeah, I don't know what that was. Conclusion: kids draw weird shit.

Pour one out for Elias. Spent his whole life preparing to fight a goblin, then immediately got fucked right up by literally the first goblin he ever met.

Reminds me of the movies I would make with my friends on iMovie. Those were so fun. We got an airsoft gun and a leather jacket. My poor attempt at Spike Spiegel still haunts me.

me 28 minutes ago: gee i wish there was an adult canadian male who looks like a nascar driver here to tell me a comforting story before bed.
me now: zzzzz

I have never laughed as hard than I did at the “Life is passing you by” bit. Oh my god.

I desperately needed a good laugh.
That pregnancy reveal, Kurtis face, the editing... just everything.
I'm in tears 🤣🤣🤣

“just an old guy who knows shit about goblins” feels like a social media bio

I’ve seen this multiple times and I still cant listen to it while I work out without dying when the “oh god” audio happens

i love how kurtis’ skit was better quality and more entertaining than the movie

That reveal at the end sent me on a 5 minute laughing fit ok i almost didn't make it out alive. That is the funniest shit I've ever seen

I keep watching this because it's so hilarious. I need to watch the movie 😄

The scene with the lady going back and asking if she has time to talk is just like a RPG like Fallout or Mass Effect when you accidentally leave the conversation and have to go back and talk to them.

I just watched Jarvis’s video on HSM 2 so the “and she stepped on the ball” joke in this video makes more sense now. I hope Angie’s stepson is doing okay.

"You can have more than one track. You're not a train." is one of the best lines I've heard in a long time.

I love how each of these videos that Kurtis puts out, he always gets a new running gag to put in his next video

Kurtis’s cop costume omg 😂 I love that that’s the closest he could get… a lil silly cowboy hat lmao

me at the beginning of the end scene: oh they kept the goblin as a pet like the babadook
me seeing sarah’s pregnant stomach: THIS IS NOTHING LIKE THE BABADOOK

16:04 when I was like 7 I drew my mom getting stabbed. My teacher didn’t care, she said it was unique. It’s just a goblin taking a dog with some dude standing there. It’s not a relative getting hung or something 😊

This show is written as if the writers only experience with social interactions is Skyrim

After that first scary scene I had to take a couple month break and it gave me nightmares but I am finally back to support my favorite man on the internet!